Twilight Has No Bite

Against my better judgment I went to see Twilight over the Thanksgiving weekend, and as I suspected, it sucked. Please note, this post may contain spoilers.

So some teenage girl (Bella) moves to another state and starts going to a new high school. Her biology class happens to contain a 17-year-old vampire (Edward), who is actually 107-years-old in human terms (he was turned in 1918).

At first Edward acts like a shy 14-year-old boy, who looks like he is constipated every time he sees his new biology partner.

Nothing really happens during the first hour of the movie, although he does save Bella's life from an out of control van that would have killed her. Of course, anyone who has seen the trailers will already have had that part of the movie spoiled for them.

Then like any good potential boyfriend, Edward begins stalking Bella when she is out with her friends. This comes in handy when she is accosted by some older boys who seem to have rape on their mind. Edward protects her from the bad men and then takes her on a date.

The relationship continues for a while, and he gradually opens up to her about being a vampire after she takes quite some time figuring out what he is. He whines about the burden of being immortal and having supernatural powers. Admits that strangely he has repeatedly attended high school over and over throughout his life (which might explain his lack of maturity).

Then a bad vampire shows up who wants to kill Bella, blah blah, Edward and his family protect her and kill the bad vampire and a few doors are left open for a sequel.

Now don't get me wrong, I do like vampire stuff. True Blood was an outstanding HBO series, and I am looking forward to the next season. But this movie wasn't even as good as The Lost Boys 2. Sure, some of the special effects were okay, but I just couldn't wrap my head around the characters in Twilight, especially Edward.

Why is this 107-year-old vampire attending high school over and over? Why does he always look like he is constipated? Why is he frightened of having sex with or even kissing his girlfriend? Why is he so insecure most of the time when he is over 100 years old? Why don't the vampires have fangs?

I had read that this was designed to be a romance for the tween / abstinence teen generation. So I guess if you are a tween girl, you might enjoy this kind of girly movie. Teen virgins can go and watch some people abstaining and feel better about their lack of maturity.

But clearly this movie is not designed to be viewed by anyone over the age of 16. It's Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, with some fake vampires. My opinion is probably in the minority though, and with the figures it has done since its release, you can expect a movie for each of the insipid books it was based upon.

Personally, I'll pass.

The iPhone Has You

When it comes to technology I am a sucker for products with a blue LED and anything that seems especially high tech. So while I tried to fight it, I knew it was only a matter of time before I was compelled to purchase an iPhone.

So on Black Friday I went down to the local AT&T store and picked one up, along with my obligatory bargain which turned out to be a Bluetooth headset for just $15 after rebate (50% off and $20 rebate). Amazingly the store was empty when I arrived (at 10am), no stampedes, and no one being trampled to death, which was nice.

The iPhone 3G did not disappoint. I'm not going to bother blogging about all its features and review the pros and cons of it; you can read that anywhere. But I will say this, it is absolutely amazing. I can quite understand why people lined up for hours when it first came out. I wouldn't want to do that personally, or pay the crazy price it was when it (the original iPhone) came out. But for right now, $199 and no waiting is an absolute bargain. I haven't even scratched the surface of the capabilities of the phone, although I've done enough to be hugely impressed.

I do have to gripe about iTunes though. I think Apple are being greedy once again and trying to overly control how people use their devices. It's never easy to just upload a file, or create a ringtone (without some rip off charge for doing so). I had to follow a tedious work around just to upload an MP3 as a ring tone.

Little things like this piss me off. But other than that, I have to take my hat off to Apple for creating the most impressive phone I've ever seen. Despite being a huge fan of the Blackberry as of late, the Curve and Pearl pale into insignificance next to the iPhone. Sure there are some new Blackberry's out now, but I don't think they are competative either in price or specifications to the iPhone.

I am happy to be shackled into one of those outrageous two year contracts with my new phone. Or at least as happy as I can be with the absurdity of forcing consumers into two year contracts with their phone providers.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is here, and it's time to slaughter some animals to celebrate the first American settlers slaughtering native Americans. I'm actually really looking forward to the food this year, having purchased it at Earth Fare.

I'm not easily impressed with a supermarket, but Earth Fare was just unbelievable. The staff were nice, the store looked incredible, the food is not only healthy but exquisite, and no more expensive than over-priced Kroger, with their bullshit 'special offers.' (Yes we screwed you over on that product last week so we can offer it at 40% off this week.)

Earth Fare pledge that their food contains none of the following:

• Artificial preservatives
• Artificial flavors and colors
• Artificial sweeteners including sucralose and high fructose corn syrup
• Artificial growth stimulants in dairy, meats and poultry like antibiotics and synthetic hormones
• Hydrogenated and partially hydrogenated oils
• Bleached and bromated flours
• Cottonseed oil
• Irradiation
• Synthetic pesticides, herbicides and fungicides
• Genetically modified organisms

They even sell Heinz Baked Beans (quite why it's so hard to get beans in America that have not been loaded down with brown sugar, lard, chopped up meat, or other unhealthy crap, I have no idea).

With the lack of regulation in American food, and the horrible additives that are still legal here, it is very refreshing to find a grocery store that caters to healthy eating.

But this post is not designed to brag about my new favorite supermarket, it was about the article I read on Yahoo!. It was talking about the President's pardon of the turkey which I had read about before, but what I don't recall reading about in previous years was how the pardoned turkey and a back up turkey are flown first class from the White House to Disneyland where they get to live out the remainder of their days in a petting zoo.

I just thought it was funny that they put these birds in first class for the trip. I'm sure they will appreciate the wider leather seats.

Acid Attack Men Captured

In some parts of Afghanistan no amount of sexism is ever enough. Earlier this month the hatred of women stooped to a new low when a gang of masked motorcyclists attacked some girls heading to school to receive a basic education. The group, allegedly connected with the Taliban, sprayed acid in the girls faces to teach them to stay home, and to frighten other girls into not attempting to get an education.

This despicable act was of course condemned world wide.

But in some surprising news, ten men were arrested recently and some have confessed to carrying out the attack. There are calls for these Taliban insurgents from Pakistan to be put to death in a public execution. Let's hope it is slow and painful.

The saddest thing of all is that societies like these will never progress until they start treating women as equals. When you have religious fundamentalists in a society that believe that women should wear burkas, and girls who seek an education deserve to be disfigured for life, you have a scary place indeed.

It's hard to imagine that here as we approach the year 2009, there are parts of the world where this kind of mentality still exists. But once again fundamentalist religion has provided a safe haven for monumental stupidity and cruelty.

Good Children

In the United Kingdom, corporal punishment of children in schools was banned in the mid 80s. Ever since then there have been repeated calls for it to be reintroduced, with supporters claiming that beating children with a cane or other implement is the only way to achieve discipline with a school.

But it turns out the Daily Mail brigade [readers of a highly conservative British tabloid that tries to promote old fashioned values to its out of touch old readers] were dead wrong about the need to beat children.

A long term study has shown that children under the age of 11 in the UK are in fact more engaged and better behaved than they were back in the 1970s. Furthermore, they noted that this improvement has accelerated since the mid 80s when corporal punishment was abolished.

Too often conservatives love to preach to us about how good the 1950s were, and express a desire to model our current society on their misty dreams of yesteryear. But in reality, every generation contains old people within it who like to bang on about the 'good old days.' In all honesty, I suspect these people are simply out of touch with reality.

The world is not going to Hell, each new decade brings change. Some things get better, and some get worse, and some things stay the same. Pretending that that has ever been a perfect time in human history is just simply not realistic or honest.

We all have nostalgia for our youth, and the same will be true for these well behaved young children who are growing up today.

I Regret My Abortion

I Regret My Abortion. That's a sign I hadn't seen pro-lifers use before. When I saw it for the first time, I couldn't believe how stupid the sign was. But apparently it is the brain child of a charity called Silent No More Awareness. It certainly seems appropriate that they are calling for a lack of awareness.

Apparently this Christian charity reaches out to women who have had an abortion, and then they try to exploit their emotional hurt regarding their difficult decision, in order to push their political agenda.

But what I don't understand is their marketing slogan. What they are admitting is that women made a free choice, which they now regret. So what? I'm sure people regret smoking their first cigarette, but does that mean we should ban smoking? And would banning smoking actually stop people smoking, or just push it underground? How about guns? I suspect there are some criminals in jail right now who wish they had never picked up a gun a shot someone with it. So how about we ban guns too?

However, this wasn't my real reason for writing this post. What I was actually going to talk about was how things really are in a 'pro-life' country, like Brazil.

It was in the news yesterday that Brazil is currently having an abortion witch hunt. Over 1,200 women are being investigated on suspicion of having an abortion. Some of the tactics used during the witch hunt include forcing women to undergo intimate sexual examinations. Thousands of women had their medical records opened to the public. Ex-husbands, ex-boyfriends, partners and other family members were interviewed too.

The clinic at the center of the controversy ended up closing in 2007. So far 30 women have been convicted of having an abortion, and as punishment were forced to work with disabled children against their will.

You know I really get that abortion is a horrible thing. No one is pro-abortion. But I cannot fathom why people are so eager to take us down a path that would make our society like this. Witch hunts? Non-consensual sexual examinations of women? Forcing women who had to make a difficult decision re-live it and suffer humiliation? Releasing possibly innocent women's medical records to the public? How is any of this good, and how is any of it a model of an ideal society?

And for you 'pro-lifers' out there, do you imagine even for a second that outlawing abortion in this country would actually prevent abortion? Have you ever heard of a meth lab? Drugs are illegal right? Yet oddly, people still take drugs all the time.

When people want to do something, but you make it illegal, all you do is push the same behavior underground, with all the risks associated with that. You can't wave a magic wand and make abortion go away; life isn't like that. If abortion is outlawed in this country, poor people will have a back street or self abortion, putting women's health at risk. Rich people will fly off to a free country and have their abortion anyway. And women will suffer. That's all you achieve. You create suffering in women.

I've already written several posts about the horrible infant mortality rate in America, so I won't bore you with that argument all over again. But suffice to say if you are 'pro-life' why don't you campaign to protect the children we have already given birth to? Demand free and unconditional health care for all children, so that maybe we can get into the top 25 countries in the world for infant mortality rate. Thousands of babies die each year in America, because we don't give them proper health care. That's the true scandal and issue here. Being angry about abortion doesn't help society, protecting the rights of children on the other hand could really make a positive difference.

George Bush Most Unpopular American President EVER!

With a frightening 71 days [at the time of original publication] left of the Bush Administration, our favorite retard has set a new record for being the most unpopular president in recent history. More hated even than Nixon at the time of his resignation.

George W. Bush has an approval rating of 24% (who are these morons?), and a disapproval rating of 76%!

Other recent presidents were listed in the CNN study:

• G.W. Bush: 76% - Nov. 2008

• Clinton: 54% - Sept. 1994

• G.H.W. Bush: 60% - July 1992

• Reagan: 56% - Jan. 1983

• Carter: 59% - June 1979

• Ford: 46% - April, Nov., Dec. 1975

• Nixon: 66% - Aug. 1974

• Johnson: 52% - March, Aug. 1968

• Kennedy: 30% - Nov. 1963

• Eisenhower: 36% - March 1958

• Truman: 67% - Jan. 1952

Fox News Racist Removed

Racist E.D. Hill has been ousted from Fox News. The right wing propaganda channel has stated that her contract will not be renewed, and she will leave the channel soon. She has not had her own show since June 16th.

E.D. Hill raised a few eyebrows when she referred to Barack Obama's 'terrorist fist jab' with his wife during the election campaign.

Despite the controversy caused by her clearly racist statements, the Senior Vice President of Programming, Bill Shine, said she was a 'valued contributor' to the network. Valued so highly, they decided to kick her out. I'm not entirely convinced Fox News management approve of 'lady news reporters' anyway.

Let's face it when you are too far right for Fox News, you've lost the plot. Good riddance you nasty little racist.

Stupid Rapper Raps His Way To Jail

Aspiring rapper Rico Todriquez Wright may have to put his rap career on hold for about 20 years.

Wright shot a man twice, leaving him permanently disabled and owing $50,000 in medical bills. But not content to leave matters there, he decided to write a rap song about it and on the track called out his victim by name rapping, "Chad Blue knows how I shoot."

This may not have been the smartest idea in the world, because eventually Chad Blue found out how his attacker rapped, and shared a copy of the CD with the police. Wright was then arrested, and thanks to his rapped confession landed himself a 20 year jail sentence, with another 20 years of probation to follow.

New Use For Baby Penises

For many Americans circumcision is considered standard practice for babies. Although the trend is very much moving away from routine baby genital mutilation. Less than 60% of American boys are now routinely circumcised, and the number continues to drop as people educate themselves. Elsewhere in the world less than 18% of males are circumcised.

But an interesting trend has developed that may cast a new light on why this genital mutilation is so popular.

It turns out that American hospitals are charging for the unnecessary procedure, and then stealing the removed foreskins and selling them to the highest bidder without compensation to the baby they have mutilated or the parents who authorized it.

One such recipient of these baby foreskins has been an organization in London who have decided that this 'unwanted human material' can be used to help the anti-aging movement. They are currently conducting clinical trials of a material derived from baby foreskins that they think is the new Botox.

If you are wanting a bit of baby penis injected into your face at any point, the product is called Vavelta.

Sarah Palin Contemplates Book Deal

Today's Alligator Blood Award has to go to Sarah Palin, the woman that just won't go away.

Apparently there are some idiots out there who were actually impressed by her nonsensical right wing rambling, and her part in costing John McCain the Presidency. So much so it has been rumored by industry professionals that she could be offered as much as $7m to write her memoirs.

Allow me to kick off some of the first chapter for you, Sarah:

Well gosh darn it, I had just come back from an animal killin' trip, and who do you think called me? It was that old man from the TV. I wasn't sure at first if it was really him, because I am quite a sucker on the phone, so I just played along and acted dumb. He asked me if I wanted to be Vice President. I was quite excited, because I've always wanted to control the Senate, and stuff like that. So of course I said, you betchya!

So then I set out on my mission to destroy John McCain's election chances by going rogue and maverick at the same time. I winked a lot, and said a lot of hokey things to convince those dumb ass Americans, that I am just a good ole hockey mom, just like them.

I thought up a fool proof strategy of calling out 80% of American who live in urban areas, and telling them that they were not real Americans. Then I made up some lies about refusing to build the bridge to nowhere, despite supporting its construction with the felon I liked to pal around with Ted Stevens.

I peddled some racist filth for a while, told lies, and covered my tracks by giving a series of wonderful interviews where I showed the world what a nice smart mommy I was. I tried to pretend to be poor, to appeal to the Republican base (they just love poor people). And also expressed some whacked out crazy right wing shit to try and energize the religious right. Speaking of energy, let me tell you about energy...

You're welcome Sarah. My only question is after you write your book (and we both know you won't run away from $7m) will you still try to pretend to be an impoverished hockey mom, or the millionaire Governor you really are? In 2012, when you run for President, will you tell Americans who are real, and who are not? Will you continue to attempt to insult the intelligence of American people with your Joe Sixpack references, or will you get real and get smart? And what about the racism? Will you have the balls to call Obama the N word, like you've always wanted to, or will you just make veiled statements about terrorists and emphasize his foreign sounding name?

I for one can't wait for her to get started on this book. All the meetings with her ghost writer will perhaps keep her off my TV.

Felon Ted Stevens Concedes Election

I'm not saying Alaskans are stupid, but I am amazed that the Alaskan Senate race was so close.

85-year-old Ted "Bridge To Nowhere" Stevens, who had recently been convicted of SEVEN felony counts of corruption, came dangerously close to defeating his Democratic rival. However it became clear today that he wasn't quite close enough to win, so he finally did something right and stepped down.

But I just have a few questions for the people of Alaska:

1. Why would you vote for a convicted felon?
2. You do realize that Ted Stevens is facing 35 years in jail right?
3. Do you realize that even if he had won, he would have been expelled from the Senate?
4. Why are you voting for an 85-year-old man?
5. Does Sarah Palin represent your views?
6. What do you like about Stevens' pork barrel projects?
7. Do you agree with the bill he introduced in January to restrict access to Wikipedia and social networking sites? And as a follow up do you agree with his assertion that the Internet is a series of tubes?
8. Sarah Palin said that she has a 'great respect' for the man back in July, but in the wake of his felony convictions said he should 'step aside' without directly calling for him to drop out of the race. Is that flip flopping, or is it only considered that when a Democrat changes their position? Or is it considered 'palling around' with felons?
   
9. Would you like a free $250,000 home renovation, like the one Ted Stevens got as part of his corrupt business dealings?
10. Ted Stevens was once named 'Alaskan of the Century.' Isn't that pretty insulting to Alaskans that a man with seven felony convictions to his name is considered the best Alaskan of the century? Or are all Alaskans just bad people?
    

Just curious.

Ted Stevens has gone on record saying that he won't ask George Bush for a pardon. Good. Enjoy your time you old corrupt bastard.

Sorry if that seems harsh. But I can just about imagine a politician making a mistake and being convicted of one felony by accident. I could almost forgive it. But SEVEN? That's surely hard to do.

In the meantime Democrats are now two Senators away from reaching the magic number of 60 Senators they need to give them political domination. There are still two undecided races out there. Let's hope they make it.

Blind Woman Threatened For One Penny

A 74-year-old blind woman living in Attleboro, Massachusetts was sent a letter from from the city informing her that she owed one penny on her water and sewer bill. The letter went on to threaten that if she didn't pay up she would be fined $48, and a lien would be placed on her home.

Locals who heard about the incident became so outraged, city hall were inundated with requests to pay off her penny debt.

Eventually a stranger showed up and wrote a check for one penny, so I guess her home is safe now.

It reminds me of my local electric company that appears to be run by Nazis.

Pirates May Save Us All

Arrh, with all the talk about global warming over the past few years, it's been easy to imagine that we will one day reach that tipping point that Al Gore warned us about.

It was therefore heart warming to read that there has been a significant surge in pirate activity in the Indian Ocean, just off the coast of Somalia.

Apparently modern pirates attack a ship with just ten people (similar to the illustration above I believe). And then later as many as 40 more show up to hold the ship, with perhaps 50 more pirates as back up on the mainland.

I have high hopes that this new surge in piracy will help slow the ravages of global warming.

For those non-Pastafarians who don't see the connection, you can learn more about it here matey.

Meh - New Words and Simpsons Sex

When I begin a blog post, I like to find an image to go with my post to set the tone for the blog entry. This isn't it.

I was initially intending to blog about the declaration that a Simpson's word, 'meh,' has now become an official word in the Collins English Dictionary.

The word is a statement of apathy, and is thought to originate from a 2001 Simpsons episode when the kids, Lisa and Bart, were asked if they wanted to go on a day trip. They merely responded 'meh' and continued watching TV.

Those compiling the dictionary claim that the word began to enter use in America, hit the Internet, and is now part of the spoken English language, thus earning a place in the dictionary.

Now what surprised me was what an innocent Google image search produced when I started looking for a Simpsons picture to put on my blog entry.

Let's just say there are some people out there with some serious time on their hands, and a strange obsession with Simpsons characters!

There are apparently entire web sites dedicated to every manner of sex act between any and all of the Simpsons characters, this would include copious amounts of incestual relationships and bestiality. Just about anything you can imagine, and probably things you hadn't really thought about the Simpsons characters doing!

The Internet is a strange world indeed.

Woman Flushes $400,000 On Nigerian Scam

A woman from Oregon has set a new (unofficial) world record for being the biggest sucker.

Most people with an email box have heard of the so called Nigerian scam. It usually involves a huge amount of money. A lottery win, an inheritance, or some kind of rich person who needs your help to get his money out of the country. And anyone with a brain promptly deletes such an email, and wonders who would be stupid enough to believe it.

Apparently the answer to the question is Reverend Janella Spears (no relation to Britney), a nurse who teaches CPR in Oregon.

Her story began with a Nigerian email claiming that her long lost grandfather had left her $26.6m, and requested $100. After she sent that, she was asked for $8,300, which she also sent.

As time went on she was asked for more and more money. Each time she became suspicious or reluctant to part with money, they would send her proof. A letter from George Bush, a letter from the FBI director, and a letter from the President of Nigeria (all faked of course).

This woman ended up wiping our her husbands retirement account, their savings account, mortgaging their house, and putting a lien on the family car (both the house and car were already paid for).

By the end of the scam the woman (who interviewers described as lucid and intelligent), had sent $400,000 to Nigeria.

When she finally realized she was being scammed, she took the matter to the authorities, who of course could do very little but offer their sympathy, and the information that she had been taken for the largest amount of money in the history of Nigerian scams.

I just thought this was an incredible story. I always found it hard to imagine that there were people out there gullible enough to part with any money at all. But then I also considered that if the scam never worked, they wouldn't still be sending the emails.

South Carolina Priest Gets Political

A priest in South Carolina has caused anger within his community for being a colossal prick.

Rev Jay Scott Newman sent a letter to St. Mary's Catholic Church parishioners in Greenville South Carolina, stating that anyone who had voted for Barack Obama should refrain from taking holy communion.

In the letter he told his followers that Barack Hussein Obama (yes he invoked that scary sounding foreign name) was the most radical pro-abortion politician ever to serve in the US Senate. He went on to say, "Voting for a pro-abortion politician when a plausible pro-life alternative exists constitutes material cooperation with intrinsic evil, and those Catholics who do so place themselves outside of the full communion of Christ's Church and under the judgment of divine law. Persons in this condition should not receive Holy Communion until and unless they are reconciled to God in the Sacrament of Penance, lest they eat and drink their own condemnation."

This cretin was later interviewed and told a reporter, "It was not an attempt to make a partisan point." Really?

A catholic spokesperson later stated that his views we way off base and not consistent with the official church stance.

Polls show that 54% of Catholics voted for Obama.

I think this man needs to be fired right away. There is no excuse for pushing politics from the pulpit. And as I've talked about in previous articles, where was this man protesting Bush when he vetoed the law that would have provided health care to poor children? Why the fuck are these religious nut jobs so desperate to condemn abortion, but they don't give a flying fuck about children? It seems so irrational to be pushing for more children to be born, when we are not taking care of them once they are.

As I've also mentioned in the past, this abortion issue is clearly something the public do not want to mess with. Notice how every single state that had a 'pro-life' agenda on the ballot this month had the measures rejected? We the people want the law left alone. The last thing we want is disgusting men like this peddling stupidity to their flock.

Time to do the right thing reverend. Resign, and apologize for your bitter partisan stupidity. You were hired to preach the word of God, not push your idiotic world view onto others.

George Bush Pushes Online Gambling Ban

The clock is ticking on the Bush administration. But with every passing minute George Bush seems bent on pushing through as much damaging legislation as possible, aimed at hurting Americans, and hurting the Obama administration (as if he hasn't done enough of that already).

While there are many issues to highlight, one that particularly annoys me is the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act (UIGEA). It's designed to outlaw most forms of online gambling, despite a clear majority of Americans not wanting such a law.

I think this specific law is one that just stands out as an example of all that is wrong with the Bush administration. On day a group of Republicans led by Bill Frist stick a last minute addition to the must pass SAFE Ports Act of 2006. There was no debate, no reason to do it, just a personal agenda based on corruption and a general disdain for the democratic process.

Bush signed it into law in the beginning of 2007, and companies all over the world lost hundreds of thousands of dollars. Americans lost yet another of the many rights that Bush has robbed them of during his term.

But now in the latest development the Bush administration is pushing the final portion of this law into effect, despite the protests, the fact it does not have the will of the people behind it, and even the banks have asked not to be placed under further pressures (it's not like they need any more in the current economic climate).

This law would make banks operate as police officers, looking for 'gambling' transactions that the government does not approve of. Of course they approve of day trading and horse race betting, but other forms of gambling from industries that didn't bribe enough Republicans, are left out in the cold, along with the American people. Again.

So the question remains, just how many stupid laws can Bush pass before he is kicked out of office? We can only hope that Obama is able to reverse as many of them as he possibly can.

If you care about your right to play poker in America, consider joining the Poker Player's Alliance. Membership is free, and over a million Americans have signed up to demand their rights. You'll see a logo on the right side bar. Click it for more information.

Obama Resistance

I was on a social networking site, and noticed this image in use as a profile picture.

It is so sad when you think about the emotions that Sarah Palin and her ilk spread throughout this election. Small minded fear, racism and hate. You can't imagine it's just a political thing, because I don't recall Gore or Kerry being vilified in the same way that Obama was.

As you might expect from the kind of narrow individual who would make or distribute an image like this, there are some pretty obvious issues with it.

What's the deal with the hammer and sickle? It's a symbol of communism, you know the political system they have in China, the country we have sold our soul to.

What has it got to do with President-elect Obama? Has he even once claimed to be a communist? Or is it just a random accusation because in this day and age it isn't socially acceptable to call him the N word?

Then there is the red star, which is at least more relevant to the campaign smears against Obama. These days the red star tends to encompass socialist ideology. The only problem is, Obama is not a socialist. He never has been, and is not proposing socialism.

Rolling back tax cuts that Bush introduced (and McCain originally opposed, before later flip-flopping on the issue), would simply mean that we don't give people earning $1.5m per year a $40,000 tax break. Since when is that socialism?

It's sad that across America there are still those with so much hate in their head, there is no longer space for logic and reason.

I'd bet all the money in my 401K right now, that the person who posted this as their profile picture does not earn $1.5m a year. In fact I doubt they are in any kind of tax bracket that will be harmed by tax increases. And let's also be real, if you are making well over a million dollars a year, a 3% tax increase isn't going to hurt you anyway. But someone has to pay for the Bush spending.

The notion that we can get by in this country without paying tax is such a stupid misnomer. The last time Americans were suckered into believing this, they elected George Bush the first, who famously said, "Read my lips; no new taxes." But once in office, added a bunch of new taxes.

So it's time to get real. Barack Obama IS your president, even if the color of his skin upsets you so much.

KKK Woman Dead

It's always an amusing irony when so called 'white supremacists' illustrate to the world that they are in fact mindless hicks.

In the latest KKK story a woman showed up for an initiation ceremony, and decided part way though that she didn't want to continue. When she tried to leave she ended up shot dead.

So she is dead, the shooter is awaiting a murder trial, and several KKK members are being held on $500,000 bond for obstruction of justice.

As far as I am concerned, the more of these low life scumbags end up in jail or dead, the better. You can't really claim superiority when you demonstrate for all the world to see that you are fucking moronic.

Youngest Ever Poker World Champion

Peter Eastgate from Denmark has become the 2008 World Champion of poker, taking down the World Series of Poker Main Even in Las Vegas.

He won $9,152,416 after besting 6,843 players to become this years best player.

And at the age of 22, he also set a new record by being the youngest ever WSOP Main Event champion, a record that had previously been set by Phil Helmuth Jr. in 1989 (when he was 24 year old).

In previous years they simply kept playing until one player had all the chips. For the first time ever this year, they played down to the final nine, and then handed them all about $900,000 about four months ago. They then invited them back to finish off a couple of days ago. By doing it this way, it was more of a surprise who had won, since the TV coverage beat the magazines to the stands. So unless you really wanted to look up online who had won, you could enjoy the surprise of the TV coverage.

Now personally, I was a little skeptical about this concept, but I think it went really well. And I applaud Harrah's for taking the WSOP franchise and continuing to expand upon it.

Lest We Forget

Why the poppy? Click here.

Sarah Palin Please Get Off My TV

After running a deplorable campaign filled with lies, racism, hate, and dishonest divisive politics, Sarah Palin has decided that she needs to leave the door open for more of the same in 2012. To that end she has signed up for a string of national interviews to cover up the scary facts that emerged during her 15 minutes of fame.

Apparently she hopes that God will 'show her the way' over the coming years. In fact the failed Vice Presidential candidate said, "I'm like, OK, God, if there is an open door for me somewhere, this is what I always pray, I'm like, don't let me miss the open door. Show me where the open door is."

Like oh my god.

She tells us she isn't stupid and all the staffers that claimed she said and did stupid things were just 'jerks' and 'cowards' (maybe they are not 'real' Americans?)

She didn't go rogue and didn't know that her party kept buying her clothes. Blah blah blah.

I think is a testimony to how disillusion Sarah Palin is that she believes she is the right choice to represent her party or this country. Her stated opinions are completely out of step with the mainstream in America. Let us not forget that 80% of American live in the big urban areas that she claimed was not 'real America.'

While I would hate to give tips to the Republicans on how to win, the way forward is to move towards a more moderate less racist middle ground, and back to real conservative values as opposed to the monstrosity that was the Bush administration. They have to appeal to the rapidly expanding non-white voter. It isn't enough any more to pander to right wing extremists and white evangelicals.

Like it or not non-white America is growing very fast indeed (several percentage points of the electorate since 2000). And Republicans have done almost nothing to appeal to these people.

But other than her looks, I just don't see what it is that some Americans see in this woman. I've had conversations with staunch conservatives and Republicans, and I've not found any real support for her. Even stupid people can see that she is stupid.

In any case I think Sarah needs to go back to Alaska and get out of the media. I'm sure there are some animals up there that are just askin' for a killin'.

Counting Coins

I'm a plastic man. If I can avoid using cash, then I do so. But on the odd occasion that I do use cash, I bring my change home and throw it in a plastic bottle.

For the first time ever today I went to my local supermarket and threw my change into one of those green Coin Star machines.

It counted my money for me, gave me a gift certificate for Amazon.com (where I do all my Christmas shopping), and didn't charge me a penny. On top of that there is a promotion on right now which earned me a $10 bonus!

So I turned a few coins into $104.65 to put towards my Christmas shopping! What a great service.

Eight Year Old Kills Two

An eight year old boy in Arizona is awaiting trial over the death of his father and another adult.

The boy allegedly took a .22 rifle that his father had given him and taught him to use, and proved that the shooting lessons had been understood quite well indeed.

Astonishingly the courts are still deciding if he should be tried as an adult (I remind you, he is 8 years old), and that will of course have an impact on what happens to the boy. Although how fairly he will be treated is another story. Allegedly the boy was already questioned by police without a parent or attorney present, and was not informed of his rights.

But here we are with the same old problem that has plagued America for so long. Why is there so much gun violence in America? What possesses a parent to teach an eight year old child how to use a firearm?

There is only one person to blame in this case. The dead father who thought it would be a good idea to buy his son a gun and teach him to use it. This man was an adult, and he should have known better. We don't let children drive cars, or motorcycles. We don't let them buy Tasers or mace. We don't give them dynamite to play with.

Responsible parents should not place deadly devices into the hands of children. This father learned that lesson the hard way. But his stupidity has cost so many people their lives. The boy will never be the same again. His mother will be devastated too, and will at least on some level, never forgive her son for what he did.

As far as I am concerned, guns are toys that only adults should be allowed to play with. And even then, the law needs to be tightened. There is no reason why citizens should have arsenals of assault rifles and semi automatics with armor piercing bullets. Our gun control laws, are out of control, and we are going to lose thousands more people every year until we get real.

Mormon Cult Annoyed At Backlash

The Mormon cult (AKA Latter Day Saints), are annoyed at the backlash surrounding their support of Proposition 8 in California.

On the run up to the election last week the LDS channeled millions of dollars (some say over $22m) they had scammed off their cult members into running deceptive and divisive commercials designed to encourage Californians to discriminate against homosexual couples.

This week however, angry protesters are calling the cult out on their bullshit suggesting their tax exempt status should be revoked if they are going to dabble so heavily in politics.

The Latter Day Saints made the following statement on their web site:

Once again, we call on those involved in the debate over same-sex marriage to act in a spirit of mutual respect and civility towards each other. No one on either side of the question should be vilified, harassed or subject to erroneous information.

To which my question is this: Who are they to enter an emotive debate like this, splash millions of dollars all over it (estimated at more than $22m), and then claim they want mutual respect? Exactly how much mutual respect are they giving gay people when campaigning to take away their rights? How much mutual respect were they giving African Americans when they used to ban black people from joining their cult?

We are supposed to have a separation of church and state, and I'm pretty sure that that concept extends to weird cults like the Mormons as well.

It's bad enough that they scam their followers out of 10% of their wages, but then to spend this money seeking to discriminate against others, and affect state law is outrageous. Especially given the rich history of polygamy and child abuse within their cult.

I too believe that if Mormons want to dabble in politics like this, they should have their tax exempt status revoked. Our economy could use some extra help right now.

If you are a loved one are a part of this cult, I'd like to recommend a great web site that is created by people who managed to escape. They offer advice and support for cult victims and their families.

Circuit City Files Bankruptcy

The latest victim of Bush economics filed for Bankruptcy today.

Circuit City, the second largest electronics retailer in America, filed Chapter 11, along with a similar filing in Canada.

But I have to say, I saw it coming. Walk into a Best Buy, and then back into a Circuit City. Look at the difference. It's like Walgreens vs. CVS. Wal-Mart vs. K-Mart.

Circuit City, at least the ones I've seen, are dreary ugly stores. The layout and look of the stores are stuck in some 1980s time warp. Best Buy evolved, Circuit City did not, and now they must pay the price.

During the last day of trading, shares in the company plunged to 11c before trading was halted. The recent round of store closings announced last week, together with what happened today will cost around 7,300 people their jobs. Although they will be allowed to keep their doors open through Christmas.

When it comes down to it, though, there is clearly some blame to go around. A few years ago this is the company that fired all (or most) of its middle management, and rehired them on lower pay. A real asshole move from the board (whom I'm guessing didn't take much of a pay cut).

So when you combine second rate stores, with crappy direction from the board, you end up with a shit storm like this.

In 2004 they hired a CEO called Philip J. Schoonover, who was also Chairman and President of the company. He quit about three weeks ago, having failed to achieve anything useful during his four year stint. Despite what can only be described as a cluster fuck in business management, this man was earning around $900,000 a year. And his contract provided a $1.8m golden handshake upon his departure.

I seriously would like to know how you can get appointed CEO of a company, get paid nearly a million dollars a year, do such a shitty job that the company stock ends up worth 11c a share, and then jump ship a few weeks before the company goes bankrupt and walk away with $1.8m! How the hell to these guys get these jobs?!?

Time will tell what will happen to this company. It would be yet more devistating economic news if they close their doors forever. But that said, I certainly wouldn't want to buy from them now, unless it's some blow out going out of business bargain. I can't trust that they will be there for me if I need to take something back. So this fear from consumers is likely to bang a few more nails into the coffin for this company.

Jeremy Clarkson Should Be Fired?

Some no name loser Member of Parliament Chris Mole has called for Jeremy Clarkson of the popular British motoring show Top Gear to be fired.

Clarkson made a slightly flippant comment that referred to a truck driver who murdered some prostitutes a little while ago, during one of his segments on Top Gear.

But my concern here is that Britain seems to be heading towards a scary dark place of censorship. The fall out from the BBC Radio 2 prank phone call is still ongoing. And now because a few hundred people complain about a show that has millions of viewers, some asshole politician is calling for someone to lose their job?

Jeremy Clarkson is a bit of an asshole. I know, I met him once. Arrogant and a bit of a dick (although I can relate to that). But on TV he is absolutely great, and he single handedly brought Top Gear into this century, creating so much success that it is even shown here in the States.

I think it is time the BBC lightened up here. It seems they are all so jittery after the Russel Brand incicent they are too scared to broadcast edgy programming.

There was nothing wrong with what Jeremy Clarkson said, so leave him the fuck alone and chill out.

Arnold 'The Governator' Schwarzenegger Talks About Prop 8

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger (pictured here not wearing his skin) has weighed in on the Proposition 8 debate in California.

During the election last week Californians voted by the thinnest of margins to discriminate against homosexual couples and ban them from getting married, which had been made legal earlier in 2008.

Schwarzenegger, a Republican who had previously opposed the notion of gay marriage, appeared to have updated his stance on the issue, and encouraged protesters telling CNN "it's not the end."

It's nice to see Republicans who are not driven by bigotry and hate. Thumbs up to The Governator.

Sarah Palin Caused Obama Death Threats

Governor Sarah Palin caused death threats against President-elect Barack Obama: That's the opinion of the United States Secret Service.

In a Newsweek history of the campaign various damaging allegations have surfaced about the campaign, many regarding Sarah Palin.

It has been alleged that her 'palling around with terrorists' and other similar attacks against Obama's patriotism were launched without approval from John McCain. Apparently Palin made these decisions herself, which caused staffers to refer to her as a 'diva' and a 'whack job.'

By mid-October with Palin's continual racist attacks, death threats against Obama had spiked, prompting the first lady to be to ask an aide, "Why would they try to make people hate us?"

Crowds at Palin rallies were whipped into anti-Obama frenzies with copious gasoline poured on the fire by Sarah Palin. Secret Service described the result as a 'near lynch mob mentality.'

John McCain became so concerned about the direction she was taking, he eventually ordered her to tone down the campaign message she was putting out.

And to think this spiteful nasty woman has hinted at a future run at the White House. Maybe she should run for Grand Wizard of the KKK instead.

Super Obama World

Super Obama World is now available for online play with no downloads. Avoid the Sarah Palin's, the pigs wearing lipstick, and fight your way to the White House!

It's quite an amusing game, especially if you are fond of the old school eight bit days.

Thief Says Sorry After Seven Years

A former British drug addict has written a letter of apology to a shop keeper who he wronged in 2001.

The 27 year old Indian shop keeper from Bristol, England (not pictured above; that's just a random Indian shop keeper), said he was stunned when he read the letter which included £100 ($156). Money he says he will be donating to charity.

The letter read as follows:

Dear Sirs,

I am writing this letter to make amends to you for something I have done in the past.

About seven years ago I was walking past your shop late one night when I noticed that someone had broken into it.

I used this opportunity to enter your shop where I stole 400 cigarettes. The money enclosed (£100) is to pay for those cigarettes which I stole from you.

At that time I was heavily using drugs and my life was in a mess, now I no longer use drugs and I strive to lead a decent and honest life.

As part of my ongoing recovery I try to put right all of the wrongs I have done in the past, at least where I can, and this is why I am giving you back the money which I stole from you.

I regret the harm I caused you in the past and I sincerely apologise to you for it.

I was very wrong to do this and I hope that returning the money will make up for this harm, at least in some small way.

BBC America Election Coverage

Being British, I have a natural fondness for the BBC. I grew up with it, and there is something to be said for commercial free viewing (and listening). And let's face it, their news service is world class.

So this was one of the reasons I was planning to tune in to BBC America for their election coverage last Tuesday night.

I have to say that to call it shit is an understatement. Even CNN with their stupid 'holograms' and MSNBC with their crazy fake architecture graphics was better than the BBC.

The show was hosted by David Dimbleby and six old white dudes on a panel. David appeared to be on a mission that night to try and be the biggest douchebag on TV. A difficult task given that Fox News were also covering the event. He spent the entire show (or at least the bits I saw) talking down to people and being a total prick.

The coverage was so crappy that even The Soup took the piss out of it this week. Unfortunately they didn't bother to post a video of that bit online. But if you get a chance, watch the show and you'll see what I mean.

What a let down for BBC America viewers. For the BBC to get their ass kicked by American cable news is a pretty sorry indictment of their mediocre show.

Mississippi Edukation

Mississippi holds the dubious reputation of being the 49th state in the union for education. It also happens to hold the record for beating the highest percentage of school children with a paddle of any state. About 7.5% of students are beaten each year.

But apparently those accolades may not be enough. It seems many in the state want to push the envelope just a little more.

The ACLU are tracking several cases in this southern state involving people in authority banning children from saying the name of our President-elect Barack Obama while in school.

In one incident two children were thrown off a school bus because the bus driver told them they were not to mention Obama's name, but they did anyway.

In another incident a coach threatened to expel any student who uttered his name.

Call me crazy but when you are in the state that is basically at the bottom of the pile for education, there are probably more important priorities than worrying if students are watching the news. It's pretty obvious this is political and racist in nature.

The ACLU encouraged students and parents to contact the organization at 601-354-3408 if they were subjected to or witnessed any form of restrictions on speech, discipline or sanctions.

Ted Stevens - What's Going On Alaska?

This is the face of Ted Stevens, the longest continuous serving Republican Senator.

This month he will be 85 years old. Last month he was convicted of seven felony counts of corruption, just a week before the election. Polls were projecting his opponent was leading by 8-22% depending on which poll you believe. In fact if you look at the last 17 polls from December 2007 until October 30th 2008, it turns out 14/17 polls showed the opponent (Mark Begich) in the lead.

And yet come election day Alaskans voted for him again, giving a convicted felon the position of United States Senator for Alaska.

So my question is, what the fuck are they smoking in Alaska?

It's hard to know if all Alaskans are as stupid as Sarah Palin, or if some shenanigans went on during the election. Because it is hard to believe that Alaskans would want to vote a felon into office. Especially an old felon who should have retired years ago.

After his conviction, bipartisan calls were made for his resignation, including calls from President-elect Obama, and old man McCain. Even fellow Alaskan Sarah Palin called for the man to step down.

But since he hasn't done so, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has confirmed that there will be a hearing, and it is likely they will call for his expulsion from the Senate. Something that has not happened to a sitting Senator since the Civil War.

The whole story is fishy at best. It just seems weird that the polls were so drastically off in this situation. It also seems weird that Alaskans would knowingly (or stupidly) vote for a convicted felon, who was convicted of crimes that involved moral turpitude.

In any case, this guy needs to be kicked out of office. Like an aging drunk at a party, this man has seriously outstayed his welcome. The arrogance of a man to receive seven convictions for felony corruption charges, and still run for re-election is just astonishing.

I'd like to see a full investigation as to what happened in the election. I'd also like to see this man removed from any kind of political position.

Ted, it's time to retire, and consider yourself lucky that because of your position you are unlikely to actually do jail time, even though you technically could be facing up to thirty five years in jail.

MTV RickRoll'd

80's singer Rick Astley was surprised and bemused after winning at the European MTV Music Awards.

In the category of Best Act Ever, the public voted him number one, ahead of U2, Green Day and Christina Aguilera.

It is thought that the web phenomenon of RickRolling (where people are tricked into following a link that leads them to the 1987 video Never Going To Give You Up) may have helped what Astley called his 'ridiculous' victory.

The retired pop star said that he had no plans to release another record, but does occasionally do performances of his 80's songs and 'pretend [to be]...21 all over again.'

During an interview on a popular national radio station in the UK Rick told the DJ, "I think MTV were thoroughly rickrolled."

GM - Can We Have Some Socialism Please?

General Motors, the world's second largest vehicle manufacturer, announced today that they have been hemorrhaging money for so long, they will be in serious financial trouble (AKA broke) by next year.

So they are now calling for the government to bail them out, handing them a big chunk of cash because they ran their company into the ground.

It should be noted that their CEO Rick Wagoner earns about $5 million a year. Has a pension worth about $19.7m. And when he leaves the company he is likely to get a golden handshake of $15m.

As you might imagine, I have several issues and opinions with all of this:

• GM make shit cars. They have for years. Their cars are unreliable, depreciate like a stone, guzzle gas, are not innovative, and there are far too many different makes and models. Given the sheer cost of creating a new car these days, you can't be making such a wide variety and still make profits. Better to produce fewer makes and models, and do the job well.
• How the fuck is the CEO making five million dollars a year (or about 500 times what a minimum wage worker makes), when he is doing such a shit job? I'm pretty sure you could grab a random guy off the shop floor of one of the factories and they'd do a comparable job, and wouldn't demand a $5m salary.
  
• I have very little sympathy for this company. They shafted American workers. Started buying parts from Canada, assembling cars in Mexico, all while advertising that people should buy American.
  
• What's with this sudden push for socialism? We heard all election about how the evil Obama was a socialist. But now all these rich Republican CEOs are going to the government cap in hand after their poor management decisions have led to the destruction of the companies they looted.
  

Racism Gone In America?

An end to racism may be a lofty goal, but the election of Barack Obama took us one step closer to a day where people are not judged solely on the color of their skin.

And what I found particularly interesting in the news today was the fact that the much talked about Bradley Effect didn't happen.

The Bradley Effect is when white voters lie to pollsters about who they are going to vote for so that they don't appear racist. The guilty white voter tells the pollster they are going to vote for the non-white candidate, but when they get to the voting booth fear and racism kick in, and at the last minute they vote white.

In doing this they invalidate the early poll numbers and this creates an overly optimistic count of the support a non-white candidate has.

In analyzing Obama's victory from Tuesday it has been discovered that the Bradley Effect was a non-issue. Generally speaking people voted as they said they would, and there was no hidden white bias.

It's a refreshing thing to see.

Change.gov

President-elect Barack Obama, has launched a new web site called change.gov. The goal of the web site is to keep people informed as to the decisions Obama is making putting his new administration together. There will be a blog, a suggestion box, job ads, and various other important information that people can read.

Did I mention this guy is amazing?

We are seeing a real change here. Gone are the days of incompetent Bush and his evil Cheney henchman. Secret government and hiring a bunch of inept people like 'hellava job Brownie.'

If I were wearing a hat, I would take it off right now. What an excellent idea this new web site is. I look forward to keeping an eye on it as we wait for Bush to finally get the fuck out of the White House.

Finding The First Dog

During the Obama victory speech, President-elect Obama said to his daughters, "I love you both so much, and you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to the White House."

But apparently one of his children have allergy issues, and that is causing speculation about certain less usual dogs that might be chosen as first dog.

I'd never heard of some of the breeds mentioned, but decided to research what they looked like. So here are some cute hypo-allergenic dog suggestions that the BBC were talking about.

This is a labradoodle. Part Labrador, part poodle.

This is a schnoodle. Part schnauzer and part poodle.

This is a goldendoodle. A poodle and golden retriever mix.
A survey of 42,000 members of the American Kennel Club chose this as their top pick.

And finally, this is a cockapoo. Part cocker spaniel and part poodle.

For me it's a close race between the cockapoo and the goldendoodle. They are both very cute, and both have amusing names that I'm sure the children will relish. While I originally favored the cockapoo, that was before I saw some goldendoodles. It's a tough choice, but since it is not one I have to make, I won't waste any more time thinking about it.

But my money is on the goldendoodle.