Thursday, May 10, 2007

That's Hot?

It's not that I don't like Paris Hilton. I'm really not a hater, as her fans are calling those who think she should go to jail. But I find myself utterly ambivalent to the thought of her serving time.

With one in ten Americans currently in jail it has to be said that going to jail is pretty commonplace in America. As an American Paris should know that. She should also know that if you are stupid enough to wind up on probation for committing a crime, you need to walk on eggshells until your probation is up.

Paris should know a lot of things, especially with the availability of the finest education that money can buy. But unfortunately for her she does not seem to know very much at all. In fact her entire career has been based on playing the role of a spoiled little whoiress bimbo who values looks, money and fashion above common sense, morals and values. But at this time her ignorance and stupidity have finally caught up with her.

In September of 2006 she is arrested for DUI and pleads no contest. She gets probation and a suspended license. In January of 2007 she was pulled over and warned that she was driving on a suspended license. She signed a document telling her she was not allowed to drive. In February of 2007 she is pulled over for speeding without her lights on, still on a suspended license.

Just how many second chances does this bimbo want?

I really am not the kind of person that believes in adding to the already unnecessarily large jail population in this country. But at some point someone like Paris Hilton needs to be told, enough is enough.

This girl has everything she wants handed to her. She has more money than most people will ever earn in a life time of hard work. All she has to do is not break the law, how hard is that? A woman like Paris could afford a limo to go everywhere. She could demand that other people pay for her to have a limo. If a night club is willing to pay $50,000 for a personal appearance, I'm pretty sure they will spring for a limo too.

It is this fact that annoys me about this case more than anything else. Paris Hilton has choices. She is not some single mom living in a trailer in rural Mississippi. She is a multi-millionaire who gets paid fortunes just to show up and drink free drinks. It would be almost effortless for her to have her agent arrange for drivers to take her where she wants to go. The extra expense is going to be meaningless to someone in her position. But the fact is she simply does not care. She has demonstrated time and again that she believes herself to be above the law. She thinks she is so incredibly important and powerful that she does not have to confine herself to the rules and regulations that govern other 'ordinary' people.

What's even sadder is that vacuous little bimbos often still in high school actually look up to this person as a role model. You only have to watch some girl on My Super Sweet 16 to see that among the spoiled and the ignorant, Paris Hilton is something of an icon.

Well it's now time for Paris to grow up. She needs to start to accept responsibility for her own actions and learn that the things that she does affect other people and her future. You can't go through life in your own little world, ignoring the realities of society and doing whatever you like. If Paris ends up in jail she is going to have a rude awakening to the harsh realities of life. Frankly, maybe this will be a good thing for her. Maybe this wakeup call will result in her being a better person.

I noticed too that her mother was pretty vocal in court, lashing out at the prosecutor and implying that her daughter was being deliberately targeted because of who she is. Well Mrs. Hilton, your daughter is precisely who she is because of the upbringing you and your husband gave her. We are all products of our environment. Before you start casting your allegations, perhaps you should take a long hard look at the serious mistakes you made that resulted in the creation of Paris Hilton.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Are you a Mitchum Man?

If there's one thing I don't like it is some smarmy little marketing expert telling me what to think about who I am and the products I buy. This is probably why I fast forward through commercials and TiVo everything. But I digress.

I've been a bit lazy in my blogging lately, what with having a life, and not living in my parents' basement. But the new ad campaign for Mitchum that has been going on few a little while has been really pissing me off.

"If you're the only one who knows which remote controls what...you're a Mitchum man."

Either that or you married a moron who cannot operate a simple electronic gadget.

How about this one:

"If you've ever dated a yoga instructor...you're a Mitchum man."

Or:

"If hammering stuff is your way of unwinding...you're a Mitchum man."

I mean seriously, just fuck off. I buy a chemical that stops me from producing a foul smelling wetness under my arm. This isn't a lifestyle choice. I didn't pick up this product because I am suffering from the delusion that using a certain kind of deodorant will make me more manly. This isn't 1950. Are you going to tell me next which brand of cigarettes I need to start smoking?

Seiko have already explained that it is my watch that defines who I am, so I don't need a fucking deodorant company to do the same.

The stick I have at home tells me that I am a Mitchum man if I believe that the ratio of lighter fluid to charcoal on a barbecue should be 2:1. But if that were the case, even if I were still alive, I'd need to buy a new barbecue. Not that I own one. You see it is not a prerequisite of being a man that you must enjoy cooking outside.

All in all the Mitchum commercials simply encourage ridiculous stereotypes, sexism, and the believe that behaving like a Neanderthal chauvinist is an attractive male trait. In fact you can even go to their web site where you are encouraged to take a 'man test' to see how manly you are. An actress then pretends to get excited about your answers if you profess to be a thick headed moron.

Seriously, if your deodorant defines you. If you have to take a test to find out if you are a man. If you find sexism and the oppression of women funny, then quite simply you are a jerk. You don't even have to take a test to figure that one out.
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