ZCT one sixty eight

GOP Down Wit Tha Uf

2009-10-17T10:53:00.004-05:00

As if there were any doubt that Republicans are out of touch with normal people, their new GOP web site helps hammer that point home good and hard.

It's taken a while but Republicans have began to realize that there are only so many elections you can win if your base is a bunch of old white people and religious nut jobs. So they have taken the first awkward steps in the re-branding process, beginning with their shiny new web site.

The launch was not without technical glitches. When the 'beta' site first went live the prominent link to Future Leaders resulted in a blank 404 page. Oops.

Various critics have already pointed out a few other embarrassing facts. For example in the section for great Republicans past and present they include Jackie Robinson who said this in his autobiography;

“I admit freely that I think, live, and breathe Black first and foremost…Every chance that I got, while campaigning (for Nelson Rockefeller), I said plainly what I thought of the right-wing Republicans and the harm they were doing…By and large Republicans had ignored Blacks and sometimes handpicked a few servile leaders in the Black community to be their token 'niggers.' How would I sound trying to go out to sell Republicans to Black people? They’re not buying. They know better.”

Hardly a resounding pro-Republican analysis.

The 'hip' new (50 year-old) Republican leader Michael Steel even has a blog on the site, which was originally called, "What Up?" What up indeed. When they realized that the borrowed (and largely misunderstood) language of youth together with various animated patriotic 'bling' made them look like dicks, they hastily changed the blog name to "Change the Game."

But probably my personal favorite is the time line of Republican achievements. In the last twelve years, there are only currently four achievements listed, and they are:

Starting the war in Afghanistan in 2001.
Introducing tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans in 2001.
Invading Iraq in 2003.
Giving vouchers to school kids in DC to buy a private education in 2004.

Oddly there is no record of any Republican achievement in the past half decade.

A close look at the above list also doesn't hold much water either. Invading Afghanistan hasn't exactly worked out all that great for us. We've been losing over there for many years now, and our only real achievement is push the crazy people and terrorists into Pakistan which has the net result of destabilizing a nation that has nuclear weapons.

Introducing tax cuts for the most wealthy in America has simply increased poverty in the middle and working classes. The trickle down theory ended up being bullshit, and our decimated economy is a testament to the failed Republican policies of the Bush administration.

Invading Iraq is clearly not a high point of the Bush administration. At the time of writing the combined cost of both wars is nearing a trillion dollars, and this does not even consider the ongoing costs that will be with us for decades, even if we pulled out of both countries tomorrow.

I honestly don't really know if the vouchers for kids in DC was a good thing or not, but when stacked up against the horrific No Child Left Behind policies and Abstinence Only sex education policies, there is simply no way the success of the DC voucher program could offset the carnage caused by the aforementioned monstrosities.

I can't say I am surprised by any of this though. Out of touch Republicans will try just about anything to get their way. They will road block health care reform that costs Americans 45,000 lives each year. They will blatantly lie and act as if previous statements they have made were not recorded on camera. And in the case of this web site, they will try desperately to recruit youth votes by pretending to be something they are not.

Let us hope that American youth who are just now reaching voting age are smart enough to see through this latest Republican scam. Of course if they were victims of No Child Left Behind, who knows if they even posses the cognitive function and reading skills to objectively evaluate the Emperors New Clothes, in web site form. I certainly hope so.

Nobel Prize

2009-10-10T00:21:00.005-05:00

Today the President of the United States won the Nobel Peace Prize. It's a remarkable achievement for a sitting president, especially so early in his first term. But the reaction of the right was as expected; scorn, hate, racism (often disguised racism; but racism nonetheless), criticism, and talk about the end times.

What's sad though is the fact that the leader of America won one of the most prestigious awards on the planet, and there were people out there ready to use this fact to push their terrible agenda.

Many on the right talked about how Obama hasn't done enough (encumbered as he is cleaning up the massive fucking mess left by George W. Halfbrain). Many said that he was not worthy and made quips about us failing to get the Olympics in 2016.

The bottom line here is that despite our many problems right now, an American President won an incredible award, and therefore as a nation we should be proud. Those who denigrate this achievement need to take off their white sheets, lower their confederate flags, and stop being so unpatriotic.

What our President has done in the first few months of office is begin to show the rest of the world that we are smart enough to elect a person with a triple digit IQ. A person who actually likes the idea of co-operating with our friends around the world, engaging in diplomacy and statesmanship.

The international community is proud of the baby steps we have taken away from being insular and xenophobic. In 2009 we cannot afford to stumble around the world like a paranoid drunk trying to pick fights. We need to engage other countries, and participate in the international community (participation is not the same as bombing BTW).

With more great leadership and time we can continue to grow in stature around the world. But as usual a vocal group of retards wants to attack Obama for being too smart, achieving too much respect while being in possession of non-white skin, and trying to make friends rather than enemies.

If a liberal ever criticized Bush during a 'time of war' they were labeled as unpatriotic. But when President Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize, it's okay for the right to go off on another tiresome rant?

If you are an American who is upset that our President has won this award, you are probably a racist, probably a moron, and you need to accept that you've lost the plot. It's fine to disagree with the president if you wish to; that's our right. But when he wins something like this it's time to be proud of our nation and our great accomplishments.

America's Got Talent?

2009-07-29T17:35:00.006-05:00

I have to admit that I've been watching America's Got Talent this season. It's not something I'm proud of, but I have to keep it real and tell it how it is.

In the spirit of keeping it real, I think NBC need to stop lying to young impressionable people when they brag about the $1,000,000 grand prize.

If you DVR the show and read the fine print right at the end of the credits you will see that the $1,000,000 described is actually an annuity. No one is going to pay you a million dollars for winning the show. In fact these cheap bastards pay out over a staggering 40 years!

This means that far from living like a rock star you are going to be getting about $480 a week as a prize (probably paid annually). Of the $25,000 you get paid, you will have to pay a bunch of tax most likely, so you'll probably be lucky to clear $20,000 a year, if that. So in the hand after deductions you may get around $380 a week.

Now I'm not going to pretend that it wouldn't be nice to receive that kind of money for doing nothing. But equally, let's not try and pretend that the winner is going to receive a million dollars in cold, hard, life altering cash.

With the advertising revenue that the show must be making, it is astonishing that the best they are willing to offer is a $480/week pay check.

All that said, we all know that the winner will have a real shot at making it big and making far more than the prize. But I still feel a little cheated when the prize is so badly misrepresented throughout the show and then only mentioned in the small print right at the end.

Seriously?

2009-07-25T11:13:00.002-05:00

A Big Brother contestant shows a frightening lack of knowledge.

The Name's Bond

2009-07-20T00:49:00.003-05:00

There's no doubt that Daniel Craig has made a great new James Bond.

For me his arrival has sparked a new interest in the series, and I respect a more 'keeping it real' approach to Bond. After all was anyone really buying the invisible car and magic watch?

All that said, I am getting a little irritated with Bond being fired or going rogue all the time. How about a movie where he just does his job really well and his bosses thank him for a job well done.

The whole 'bad cop who breaks the rules but gets the job done' thing has been going on for years. Introducing that to the James Bond franchise is a little cheesy. We get that he's a rebel, but there are only so many times you can give a one fingered salute to your employer before they stop taking you back.

Lessons In Lego

2009-07-18T11:02:00.003-05:00

I've lived in America for the better part of a decade now. I've grown accustomed to the strange way that many Americans craft the English language. Not surprisingly I have a handful of pet peeves.

Burglarized

The English word is Burgled. "My home was burgled." Why take such a simple English word, make it longer a and put a Z in it for no reason? Did someone want to win a Scrabble game?

Coupé

It's pronounced COO-PAY. The é is not silent, and it has an accent on it modifying the way it should be pronounced. Even if you take off the accent, the 'e' is still there. Much like there is an 'h' at the beginning of the word 'herb' that Americans seem to think is silent (it's not by the way).

Legos

This is actually my big beef of the day. A little while ago I was watching a news channel, and they were talking about how someone had built something out of 'Legos.' In fact, they kept going on about 'Legos' for quite some time.

Since Lego Group is one of the largest toy manufacturers in the world, and an estimated five billion hours of play take place with Lego Bricks each year, let's take a moment to understand how to say the word.

Lego Group is a corporation who make, among other things, the Lego Brick. You can have one Lego Brick, or two or more Lego Bricks. As an abbreviation, you can call it a piece of Lego, or several pieces of Lego. But there is NEVER an 'S' on the end of the word. Just like sheep; the plural of sheep is sheep. The plural of Lego is Lego.

That concludes the English lesson for the day.

Gone Fishin'

2009-07-11T15:19:00.004-05:00

I was on vacation when Sarah Palin resigned.

But it is nice to see that Sarah has finally found a task more in keeping with her skill set.

Perhaps we can move towards a time when we don't elect politicians who are as dumb as a fucking brick. George Bush showed us what happens when you give a retarded person too much power. Let that be a lesson to all of you.

As for Sarah, PLEASE stay on vacation for the rest of your life. It's not that I hate retarded people, but it does scare me to think that America could elect another person with special needs to the White House.

Universal Healthcare

2009-07-11T14:36:00.004-05:00

Are you one of those Fox News viewers that still doesn't get it when it comes to universal health care? We'll it's time to wake the fuck up and sniff the American infant mortality rate (among the many other indicators that our system is broken).

I had the good fortune to see Sicko again for the first time since it came out. Watching this movie seemed to drive home some of the serious problems in our system. It was also interesting to compare the bullshit arguments the right used to shut down Hillary Clinton's health care initiatives during the 90's. The same old white right telling us that universal health care cannot work, despite the reality that it does in the rest of the western world.

So if you haven't seen this powerful movie, might I suggest you do so now. Your life could depend on it; and hey, it's less than $10 now.

eBay are Nazis!

2009-07-11T11:02:00.007-05:00

Yes, I am going to invoke the Nazi argument here.

So I gambled with eBay again, against my better judgment, and thought I would blog about how fucking shit they are, with their partners in crime PayPal.

As I've previously mentioned, I purchased a new watch, and liked it so much I saw no need to hold on to my old Tag Heuer.

Despite my belief that eBay is operated by child killing Nazi KKK wizards, together with my previous bad experiences with them, I figured if I wanted to get the best possible price for my watch it would probably be worth the gamble.

So I put it up for $777; a ridiculously low price for a watch that retails new for $2,600, and I didn't even put a reserve on it. Thankfully, a last minute bid frenzy pushed the price to just over a grand, which isn't bad for a used Internet purchased example in average condition.

eBay forced me to list it for five days, despite the fact that people rarely bid on an item to the last 48 hours. The sale happened on July 1st. I had requested in my listing that payment be made within 48 hours of the sale, but of course it was four days before my buyer bothered to send the money. I shipped the watch overnight on 7/6/09, the first shipping day available after I got paid.

My buyer wasn't in when his watch arrived on 7/7. It took him a while to go and pick up his package, which begs the question why he paid extra for overnight service.

Delivery happened at 1:07pm PST on 7/9/09.

So why I am pissed?

Because today is 7/11/09 and I still don't have my money.

Apparently, thanks to a policy I was not aware of PayPal (also owned by eBay), place 'large' sums of money on 'hold' until they decide to release it.

So my slow buyer who never seems to be home has to bother to go and give me positive feedback on eBay, or several days have to drag by after the package was delivered before PayPal release my funds to me.

I just happen to think that is bullshit.

I first listed my watch for sale on June 25th. Here we are, July 11th, and all I have to show for my efforts is a missing watch, a bill for shipping ($85), and no money.

It's hard for me to see why eBay is so popular. I've sold a few items with it, and there always seems to be some kind of catch that fucks everything up. Stupid buyers, eBay being jerks, PayPal sticking their nose in etc.

Just once it would be nice to sell an item, get paid in a timely fashion, and not get screwed over by eBay or their evil son PayPal.

By the way, the picture is a new eBay slot machine they have in Vegas now. At this rate, I think I might have better luck playing that. The question is, if they pay out, will your winnings be put on 'hold?'

Billy Mays Dead At 50

2009-06-28T13:21:00.004-05:00

I was sad to hear that Billy Mays passed away this weekend at the age of 50. Sunday would have been his birthday.

I was fairly ambivalent about him until I started watching his reality show Pitchmen. In the show he is clearly a good man with a great sense of humor. He seemed to get a genuine kick out of helping others.

Now we're stuck with that fucking Shamwow guy. Hardly the same.

Billy Graham's Prayer For Our Nation

2009-06-25T18:27:00.003-05:00

I received an email from someone today, one of the circular emails that fly around the web, and truth be told, I had a bit of a problem with it.

To me it demonstrates one of the underhand techniques that religious leaders use to lure people to church. It's basically the whole deterioration of society argument that some Christian leaders like to use. They use this philosophy to push the notion that anything bad happening in the world is a sure sign that the end times are upon us, and therefore NOW is the time to commit time and money to the church.

Sadly though, this argument has been used for thousands of years, and it is as wrong today as it was 2,000 years ago when Jesus preached it (MT 24:32 for example).

Anyway, here's the prayer, along with my comments:

"THIS MAN SURE HAS A GOOD VIEW OF WHAT'S HAPPENING TO OUR COUNTRY!"

- An enthusiastic introduction by one of the originators of this email, I assume.

'Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, 'Woe to those who call evil good,' but that is exactly what we have done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values."

- So first we define the problem. The world is going to Hell. Let's start with a little fear and the assertion that our current 'direction' is wrong.

"We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery."

- Actually proceeds from the lottery have enabled thousands of underprivileged people a chance at an education. Tennessee, for example, only got Powerball in 2004 (the Christian fundamentalists didn't want it in Bible Belt), yet already in just five years over $1,400,000,000 has been raised for education. Without the money from the lottery we'd have had to forgo education opportunities that the money allows, or tax people. The great thing about the lottery is that it is an optional tax on those who wish to give it. The citizens of this state benefit from the money raised.

Taking a look at the bigger picture, what is the alternative? Ban the lottery? Deprive hundreds of thousands of citizens across this nation of the good that lottery money has brought? Tax people more? People WANT to play the lottery, and those who don't agree with it simply don't have to play. They can equally refuse to accept grant money and other lottery benefits.

"We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare."

- Well if this isn't the biggest misconception in America, I don't know what is (except maybe health care reform, and the critical need for it). People who receive welfare are NOT always lazy lowlifes. Quite often there are genuine cases of need for welfare. This fucking stupid and irresponsible vilification of welfare merely adds to the stigma of those on welfare, and ingrains the nasty notion that being on welfare is bad and wrong.

I'm sure there are some lazy people who take welfare instead of working. But for every lazy person there are probably at least 100 genuine cases of people who need help.

What could be more Christian than helping the needy? Isn't that the message of Jesus?

But no, in this country where Christianity has been hijacked by Republicans we are taught not to help others, but to pour scorn on those who need our help and understanding.

"We have killed our unborn and called it choice."

- We have equally killed our babies, because Republicans don't believe that free health care should be an absolute right for all children. This right wing policy has helped us reach a staggeringly low 42nd country in the world for infant mortality.

As I've already reported, abortion cannot be a real issue while we are turning our backs on babies and letting them die. To all you pro-life people out there, get back to me when every single child in this country is given free access to world class health care, and our infant mortality figures stop being such a massive embarrassment. Until that time, boo hooing about removing a cluster of cells from a uterus isn't going to fly with me.

"We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable."

- It's easy to justify when you use deliberately emotive language such as 'killing babies.'

"We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self esteem."

- Actually, I think it is really just a question of fundamental laziness. I don't think that parents who care are actively failing their children with good intentions, most of the problems with child rearing stem from parental apathy and/or stupidity.

But this sounds more like a shot at those liberals who think it's wrong to beat children. Not to worry Mr. Graham, we still lead the western world at beating children in school. Mostly minorities and people with disabilities, but who's counting?

"We have abused power and called it politics."

- By 'we' do you mean the religious right and Republicans under George Bush? Amen brother.

"We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition."

- Good old fashioned American greed is pretty much a hallmark of our society. Nothing new here, and certainly more of a right wing problem than left.

"We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression."

- Boo fucking hoo. Saying the word 'fuck' does not pollute the air any more than saying the word 'love.' But what would you like Billy? Some nice government crack down on freedom, just so we can impose your stupid fucking values on everyone else? If that's what you're in to, Iran is a great country if you like sun, sand and absolute control by religious extremists.

"We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment."

- You mean we have evolved as a society? Which bit you didn't like? When we gave black people the vote? How about letting women go to college? Yeah, I see what you mean, so sad to see us not embracing the values of 200 years ago. Moron.

"Search us, Oh God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and Set us free. Amen!'"

- How can an omnipresent being search us? Isn't He already there/here/everywhere?

"Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on his radio program, 'The Rest of the Story,' and received a larger response to this program than any other he has ever aired. With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep over our nation and wholeheartedly become our desire so that we again can be called 'One nation under God..'"

- Here's where we try to legitimize this crap by pretending that everyone else thinks this way too.

"Think about this: If you forward this prayer to everyone on your e-mail list, in less than 30 days it would be heard by the world. (It's worth a try!) One Nation Under God."

- And finally the chain letter hook to make the reader believe they can be a part of a movement.

The sad reality is that there are billions of human beings who don't even have access to sufficient food, medicine and water on a regular basis. I somehow think that they may not possess an email address (iPhone / Computer / other technology / even a fucking phone), rather scuppering the plan to rouse people all over the world. Not to mention the fact that many of our fellow humans choose not to believe in the exact same way as Billy Graham.

Heidi & Spencer Pratt To Write Book

2009-06-19T19:56:00.003-05:00

Heidi & Spencer Pratt announced this week that they were 'writing' a 'book' about how to be 'famous.'

Wouldn't it be good if the book was actually about developing a skill and becoming so good at something, you became famous?

These morons, who seem to be hell bent on making the movie Idiocracy come true, are just one of a long line of so-called celebrities, who got famous despite having no talent whatsoever. The brutal reality is, if you've ever been on "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here..." you are in fact, not a celebrity, you are a useless hack who is desperate for attention and/or money.

In any case kids, you better save that reality show money because by my count, your 15 minutes is nearly up and you're both clearly far too stupid to hold down real jobs.

My New Omega Seamaster Chronometer

2009-06-17T16:52:00.009-05:00

This week I added another watch to my watch collection. After a string of three Tag Heuer watches, I decided to look for something different.

My last watch was the Tag Link Diamond, but up to this point I had always purchased the quartz battery powered versions. This time I wanted an automatic self winding chronometer.

So I did the research, trolled through dozens of web pages and forums, and eventually found the watch I wanted. Omega is quite high end as a manufacturer goes. Ignoring the insanely priced watches that start at $10,000+ and considering the more affordable brands below $3,000.

Now a few years ago I requested some information from Omega and they sent be a couple of delightful coffee table books featuring some of their watches. But I'm very picky and only really liked one of their Seamasters that both looked good, and was a reasonable price. However, it wasn't really that much nicer than my Tag to justify the $2,300 they wanted for it. So I didn't make a purchase.

More recently a friend of mine wanted to replace his watch and started doing the research. He stumbled across the 2265.80, which is the quartz version of my new watch. After be bought it, I was blown away by the striking good looks of the watch, and decided that the automatic version needed further investigation.

After a little more research I located a dealer willing to discount to a price similar to the Internet price, but with full Omega warranty. I also discovered that Omega have discontinued this model as they axe the 'cheaper' watches and move upscale with their newer Co-Axial movements. Apparently they are looking to take a chunk out of Rolex sales. So I had to act quickly to snatch up one of these delightful watches before the stock ran out. And fortunately I was just in time.

I got the watch within 24 hours of ordering with all the official papers and documentation. Nice to find a business that does exactly what they say they are going to do when they say they are going to do it.

I've had my new watch for 24 hours now, so I figured it was time to post a review.

Review: Omega Seamaster Professional Chronometer

The Omega Seamaster Professional Chronometer2255.80, is a really beautiful watch. What Omega have done is marry the chunky solid look of a rugged diver's watch, with a sense of fun and style. It's in-your-face, but not offensively so. It's not diamond encrusted, it's not so big you look like a rapper with no taste. It's just sits there and says 'hello' but doesn't shout.

The face of the watch is 'electric blue' as opposed to the more subdued sea blue they offer in the same range. I think that the term cobalt blue would also be a good way to describe it. Whatever material Omega have used to create the face, it is certainly beautiful. It seems to change color depending on light conditions. Under some conditions it looks almost black, and with bright natural light it has an iridescent blue to it. There is a very fine Seamaster wave cut into the dial too, that adds another dimension of interest to the design.

I love a watch that is easy to read, and the large sword hands and big indices, certainly provide that ease of use factor. A generous coating of Super Luminova ensures a fierce night time glow, for quite some time after the lights go out.

Being an automatic watch the seconds hand sweeps smoothly around the dial, making 28,800 tiny movements an hour. As a certified chronometer it has passed various Swiss standards for accuracy, elevating it above the average automatic watch.

Speaking of movements, this particular one is being phased out by Omega in favor of their new line of Co-Axial movements. But this model is based on a top quality ETA movement that Omega modify heavily to create the 1120. It's been around for many years now, and is certainly tried and tested.

The watch case is finished with a lot of care and subtle detailing. Some parts have been polished to a mirror like shine, while others are satin. It all adds up to a substantial and beautiful case, that protects the watch to 300m / 1000ft below the sea. Somewhere I'll never be going (hopefully). There's a helium release valve I'll never be using that protects the watch from pressure changes while decompressing in a diver's bell. Somewhere else I hope never to be.

Like most watches the crown unscrews and can be used to set the date and time, but also wind the watch if you leave it unworn for too long.

The back of the case features a carving of a sea creature, and more of the Seamaster wave pattern. There's also a laser etched security mark, and the serial number.

The bracelet is the three link Speedmaster style bracelet. Three large pieces of brushed steel with two tiny polished accents at the join for another dimension of style. It's extremely comfortable and looks interesting.

The clasp is very nice, utilizing two push in buttons that must be depressed simultaneously to remove the watch from your wrist. Despite the high quality, I've read that because of the location, design and shape of the clasp it can be easy to scuff. Supposedly, it's not that hard to fix if you do scuff it up. Alternatively you can buy a new bracelet for $500ish should you need to.

What you're left with is a stunning watch with a serious pedigree, and real presence about it. I feel fortunate to have captured one of the last ones ever made by Omega. I'll certainly be wearing it every day, and believe that it is suitable for casual wear, and can also be worn in the boardroom with a suit.

If you are highly conservative type that can't get past the blue dial, there are various Seamaster watches that have a black or subdued blue face, and matching bezel insert.

I'll post an update after I've owned the watch for a while, and let you know how it is going. Certainly for now, I'm very impressed.

Fake Republican Outrage

2009-06-16T06:11:00.005-05:00

As I watch Republicans rebrand themselves as the party of no ideas, it is interesting to see the latest trend of the fake outrage. Not a week goes by now, when Republicans and their crazy supporters are not 'outraged' by something new.

This week talk is all about David Letterman. Last week he made some silly joke about the Palin kids getting knocked up, and suddenly it's been blown up into an insane fiasco. After apologizing, Letterman invited failed vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin on the show, an offer she declined on the basis that it would not be 'safe.'

The Hilton group, known for such classy offerings as Paris Hilton, recently pulled their Embassy Suites ads from the CBS web site stating that their guests might have found the comments 'offensive.'

The lasted asshole to jump on the bandwagon is Micheal Patrick Leahy, the brainchild behind the teabagging parties. He has stated that the comments made by Letterman are 'disgraceful' and 'egregious.' He went on to liken the silly joke to the racist comments that got Don Imus fired from the radio. His next move is going to be to organize a few hundred morons that listen to this prick, to go and protest the studio.

As Republican assholes like to say, "Gimme A Break..." One silly little joke about teen pregnancy in a family that has already had one does not warrent all this fake outrage. If these people want a real issue to complain about, how about the reality that American infant mortality is so bad? How about a discussion about out of control teen pregnancy rates in America (caused in part by failed Republican policies supported by Sarah Palin)?

But I guess that would be too easy. Republicans have lost the plot, and instead of putting forth a manifesto of great solutions to the problems Bush created for us, they have become the party of 'NO' and anger.

Now don't get me wrong, I think Letterman should have retired years ago. This American concept that late night hosts must stay on the air as long as they are capable of talking for an hour is crazy. But for a group to claim he should be fired for reading a joke his writers threw together is just pathetic. Some people need to get real.

Crazy 4 Jesus?

2009-06-13T03:40:00.002-05:00

I have to say, you see some crazy shit on TV after 1am.

I was channel surfing just before bed, and found this infomercial for some cult that was claiming if you sent a 'seed' of $1,000 to them, God would make miracles work in your life such that your 'seed' would grow and your 'investment' would come back to you multiplied.

But not to be outdone by the terminally stupid, I'd like to extend a special offer right here right now. Send me a $10,000 seed, and I promise to ask 'god' to reward you 20X what this cult is offering. That's like two for one! How could you resist? Act now and I'll throw in a free magic stone that keeps demons away. FREE SHIPPING AND HANDLING!

You're Fired!

2009-06-10T19:15:00.003-05:00

I had to laugh today when I heard that the little bitch Carrie Prejean (Miss California) had been fired by Mr. Trump.

Miss California was skating on some pretty thin ice from the moment she expressed her views on 'opposite marriage.' She then got scooped up by the radial crazy religious right, and went on a crusade to 'protect' the sanctity of marriage.

Her homophobia annoyed many, and it was soon discovered that Carrie Prejean was in fact quite a whore, not the devout Christian she was playing on TV. Turns out she had participated in some racy semi-nude photos when she was a child, and then lied about it when she applied to be Miss California. Then we find out that she let someone buy her a boob job to help her win.

Now it turns out that she has become so self absorbed even Trump doesn't like her anymore! She has failed to fulfill her Miss California obligations, passing up required appearances in favor of her gay bashing hate quest. Eventually organizers of the pageants had no choice but to dump this trashy little tart. And in my opinion, not a moment too soon.

Oakley Customer Service

2009-06-07T18:33:00.005-05:00

I recently purchased some new shoes from Oakley.com and decided it is time I rant about it on my blog.

I've always liked Oakley as a brand. They have some cool products that are pretty stylish and innovative.

But enough of the preamble. I ordered some shoes, they came, and to my annoyance the special Oakley logo laces were severely damaged on the left shoe. No biggie, I thought. I'll just take a picture of it, email it to Oakley, and they will probably just ship me a replacement set of laces.

Wrong.

I eventually had to call Oakley three times, and email them four times, eventually threatening to reverse payment on the item until they resolved the issue. Sadly it seems they have hired a bunch of young surfer kids to run their customer service department. A bunch of shallow pretty people who are quick to sound concerned, but completely incapable of the responsibility of follow up or actually doing anything. These entitled millennials rule the roost at Oakley customer service, that's for sure.

Two weeks later the best solution they could come up with was to ship me a new pair of shoes, and a shipping label to return the 'old' ones.

I haven't seen this kind of customer service shambles since I lived in England.

It's going to cost Oakley $25 or so to send my new shoes, and $20 more to get the old ones back. Then there's the handling costs, and presumably those millenials don't work for free (or at all it would seem).

Quite why a company would flush their profits down the toilet in this way is quite beyond me. Unless they give me a nice fat voucher to say sorry, I won't be shopping there again. Most of the Oakley products can be purchased cheaper at Amazon.com anyway.

Now that I've made myself sound suitably old by bashing millenials, I'm going to hobble down the stairs, sit on my deck and shake my fist at some young kids. GET OFF MY LAWN!

Westboro Baptist Church Psychos

2009-06-06T13:41:00.003-05:00

Anyone who follows the news will have heard the sad story of the women's health care provider Doctor George Tiller who was murdered at his church last Sunday by an anti-abortion protester.

Today the grieving family held a funeral, and although it was generally peaceful, 17 people took it upon themselves to travel across the country and protest during the funeral.

Words cannot begin to describe what kind of psychotic mother fucker would take the time to travel to the funeral of a stranger to stage a protest. But then these people are part of a cult that regularly does this as part of their ongoing publicity stunts that are, according to them, spreading God's word.

On their delightful website GodHatesFags.com, they lay out their mission to save humanity from sin:

"WBC engages in daily peaceful sidewalk demonstrations opposing the homosexual lifestyle of soul-damning, nation-destroying filth. We display large, colorful signs containing Bible words and sentiments, including: GOD HATES FAGS, FAGS HATE GOD, AIDS CURES FAGS, THANK GOD FOR AIDS, FAGS BURN IN HELL, GOD IS NOT MOCKED, FAGS ARE NATURE FREAKS, GOD GAVE FAGS UP, NO SPECIAL LAWS FOR FAGS, FAGS DOOM NATIONS, THANK GOD FOR DEAD SOLDIERS, FAG TROOPS, GOD BLEW UP THE TROOPS, GOD HATES AMERICA, AMERICA IS DOOMED, THE WORLD IS DOOMED, etc."

Since June of 1991, they claim to have arranged over 40,000 protests. What a sad reality that there are enough empty headed morons out there, that a hate filled cult like this can continually stage protests in this vile and abhorrent way.

I guess the real question here is; if there is a god, why would he create people who are so fucking stupid?

American Idol

2009-05-24T09:26:00.002-05:00

Well American Idol is over for another year, and I for one am very glad that I have DVR. Even if it doesn't quite work properly due to the incompetence of Charter.

Even though it may not be 'cool' to say it, I still kind of like American Idol. It is an interesting show, but there is so much crap and filler I simply would not watch it at all unless I could DVR it and then fast forward through most of it.

I think that the outcome was a bit stupid this year. Apparently America voted for the guy that was consistently inconsistent, and while he may of won, we all know that Adam Lambert is going to be huge.

The blessing in disguise is that as a runner up, Adam will likely have a lot more control over his music career going forward. Perhaps the best news is that he won't have to release that steaming turd of a song written by Kara DioGuardi et al.

For those who missed it, allow me to share a small selection of some of the extraordinary lyrics with you:

"Every moment last forever if you feel you’ve lost your way"

"With every step you climb another mountain
Every breathe it’s harder to believe"

"You’ll make it through the pain (or through all the aches and pains)
Weather the hurricanes"

"Just when you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you’ve almost gave up on your dreams"

"You can go higher
You can go deeper
There are no boundaries
Above and beneath you"

It is perhaps part of the reason that Adam lost Idol; even he couldn't polish this turd of a song and sell it to the American people. Sadly the last image we have of the guy is him singing this right before the phone lines open.

It's like asking Sting to sing The Chicken Song.

Time will tell if Kara will be back for another season. In many ways I would welcome it, just so we can see Randy and Simon make fun of her stupid song.

As for the guy who won, the big question will be if he can overcome the embarrassment of putting out that song as his debut single.

No discussion of American Idol this year would be complete without the weird bitchfest that former Idol runner up Clay Aiken started on his web site. Apparently Clay, rips off his fans by making them subscribe to his blog. They then get to read what Clay really thinks about the world around him (who the fuck would pay for that seriously?).

When asked his thoughts on Adam Lambert, Clay went off on a rant, that included talk of his ears bleeding. Although catty Clay did admit that he didn't actually watch Idol anymore.

For the record, I wouldn't go and see Clay Aiken perform if he was in my living room. And I've no idea what was to be gained from attacking a talented singer for no reason other than a cynical attempt to get his name back in the news.

Whatever the reason, I say that the attack and then half assed apology showed a complete lack of class by Clay. Hopefully he will disappear back into obscurity, and maybe he will take that old fucking windbag Dick Cheney with him. Maybe they can go hunting together.

More Oppression Of Saudi Women

2009-05-09T08:30:00.004-05:00

Life is not always good for women of Saudi Arabia. Forced to wear stupid oppressive costumes their whole life once they leave childhood. Not allowed to drive. Not allowed to get a proper education, or leave the home most of the time. The criminal justice system revolves around men. Women can be put to death, or flogged for a multitude of crimes, including riding in a car with a 'strange' man, being raped, and so on.

It is really quite sick that our nation is 'friends' with such a hotbed of evil. I'll be interested to see how friendly we are with them once their oil runs out.

The latest story out of Saudi Arabia is unsurprisingly one of further oppression of women. Since women are not allowed to attend places that men go (without an escort), the only way they can stay in shape is to attend a women's only gym. The only problem with that arrangement is that it is illegal to open a women's only gym without a license. And the only problem with that is that the government does not issue licenses for women's gyms.

For a few years gyms for women have operated in secret around the county, and the authorities have turned a blind eye to the practice. But not being oppressive assholes is not something the authorities are good at in Saudi. So the government has now begun a crackdown on female gyms, closing them for not having a license.

Another argument they make against women getting exercise, is the belief that a woman can lose their virginity by playing sports. This in turn puts them in danger of being stoned to death, if her new husband doesn't believe he has married a virgin after his wedding night.

It really is so sad to see an entire nation operating in such a disgusting manner. Oppressing half the population in so many despicable ways. I hope their oil runs out soon, so we can cut off all trade relations with these nasty scumbags.

LOL @ Carrie Prejean

2009-05-05T19:15:00.005-05:00

I had to laugh at Carrie Prejean (AKA Miss Anti-Opposite Marriage) getting her ass kicked in the media this week.

Carrie Prejean was bitter because her dumb homo prejudiced pageant answer cost her the win (so she claims). So she decided to use her 15 seconds of fame to stand up and campaign for the Christians values of 'normal' marriage between a man and a woman.

She went on the rampage in the media spouting crap about how it was her RIGHT to discriminate against other people and encourage others to do so also (it was remember, her OPINION). And there was no arguing with her; after all GOD was on her side.

Unfortunately a few facts emerged recently that sully the clean cut Christian image, that she was trying to exploit for personal gain.

First off, it is becoming clear that she accepted the gift of a free boob job, when everyone knows there is no such thing as a free boob job.

Next is the contract she entered into to become Miss California. She agreed to various ethical standards and gave her word that she had not ever been involved in nude photo shoots. Turns out she lied about that.

Various web sites today released some topless pictures of her wearing tiny panties and nothing else. Carrie Prejean went on the offensive claiming that 'they' were trying to silence her Christian views, while simultaneously explaining that nude and semi-nude photography is common for models. She further claimed to have been under 18 when the pictures were taken, which many believe is a lie.

He's the problem that I, and so many others, have with this bimbo. She has set herself up as a good Christian woman, who just wants to push that agenda. And there is nothing especially wrong with that, if your motives are genuine (and you are who you claim to be).

Carrie Prejean is a fraud though. She is a stripper who whores herself to get ahead in life. She recognised that her stupid answer in the pageant cost her a win, so decided to dig her heels in and pretend to be a martyr for her Christian cause, but really was simply using the situation to build on her celebrity. But when you are a liar, a stripper, and a whore, it is hard to preach to others about how they should lead their lives.

It will be interesting to see the reaction of the ultra right wing Christian groups who have been fawning around her since she took her 'stand' against 'opposite marriage' as more and more facts come out about this fraud.

A Christian talk show presenter made a comment on the news today that I believe in wholeheartedly. She said, Christianity isn't a buffet. You can't just pick and choose the bits you like, and ignore the things you don't. Either the Bible is the infallible word of God or it is not. If you are going to use the Bible to justify discrimination against the gay community, it makes no sense to simply ignore other equally important Biblical principles and rules for the sake of convenience.

Just to be clear, I am not conservative. I don't have a problem with women who wish to strip, become prostitutes, or have cosmetic surgery to become models. To each their own. But you can't do things that are blatantly against the teaching of the Bible, and then thump the Bible to push your particular cause or agenda.

UAE = SHIT

2009-05-03T23:05:00.004-05:00

People in the West seem to be under the mistaken impression that the United Arab Emirates (especially Dubai) is the Las Vegas of the Middle East, and is just a safe joyous place. People go there to vacation or to earn lots of tax free dollars in this oil rich country.

But I would not go there if I had the best suite at the 'seven star' Burj Al Arab hotel comped and all the spending money I could spend.

There are many reasons why, many of which include injustice and oppression of women.

I read a story today that typifies why I think the place is so shit. It doesn't matter how 'progressive' they think they are, or how much less oppressive they are than some places in the Middle East. The fact is they are still horribly oppressive and sexist, with a nice mix of religious fanaticism thrown in.

In the story I read an Australian nurse who worked in a hospital there was heading home from a 13 hour shift. He got stuck behind a driver who was driving erratically while talking on his mobile phone.

He finally overtook the bad driver and out of stress and frustration gave a one finger salute to the other driver, expecting this to be the end of the matter.

The other driver proceeded to re-overtake, slam his brakes on nearly causing an accident, before following the Australian nurse home to his apartment. After a minor verbal altercation, he called the police and pressed charges against the nurse. Despite making a full confession and apology, the Aussie was jailed for 24 days before being deported.

It's stories like this, and the one about a year ago where a guy was jailed because they found some weed (about the same amount as a grain of sugar) on the sole of his shoe, that makes me think that the UAE is just a nasty hole that would be nothing were it not for their oil.

People in the West need to wise up, become independent of Middle Eastern oil, and leave countries like this to evolve into something that is acceptable and reasonable in this century.

My Pick: Annie Duke

2009-05-03T22:44:00.004-05:00

I've really been enjoying the Celebrity Apprentice this season, and I have to say Annie Duke surely deserves to take down this competition.

After the final round of eliminations this week she gets to play heads up with Joan Rivers, the old hag who has repeatedly compared Annie to Hitler.

Now clearly Joan Rivers is mentally ill, who else does that to their face? But despite that, I can't wait to see Annie take the bitch down next week.

This is a charity reality show, and there is simply no reason for Joan Rivers to go after Annie and poker players generally in such a bitchy way. I thought Omarosa was crazy (and I was right), but Joan is taking this to a whole other level of crazy. Especially odd behavior for someone who claims to have such class, yet cannot seem to separate business from the bitchy ad hominem.

So good luck Annie. Show no mercy.

Weird Marketing

2009-05-02T15:56:00.003-05:00

The other evening I saw this business card sitting in the lobby of some business in Virginia. As I was waiting for someone I was curious as to what they were advertising, which I guess from a marketing standpoint makes it a success.

Once I had read the card, I was left a little confused about why they had chosen this form of marketing. The card was exactly the same size as a poker playing card, and looked at first glace like it was advertising a "gentleman's club."

Of course, as you can see it is actually offering to teach people to get a GED. I just thought it was weird enough to share.

Gun Accidents

2009-05-02T10:07:00.007-05:00

An idiot living in Northport, Alabama, may have to re-think his home defense strategy.

The 24-year-old hick decided that he would be a lot safer if he slept with a .40 caliber pistol in his bed. Unfortunately he somehow discharged the gun while sleeping and shot himself.

Sadly the gunshot wound was not fatal.

***

In an unrelated story a 59-year-old man in Colorado was visiting a relative in hospital, and accidentally shot himself as he reached into his pocket to pay for his lunch.

Apparently, the man was illegally carrying the concealed weapon for personal protection, and was unaware of the hospital's no gun policy, nor the concept of a safety catch.

***

My final story of gun idiocy happened last year.

A Texas man was playing poker and drinking with his friends in Fort Worth. The 44-year-old man left the room and noticed he had an itchy back. So he figured what better way to scratch his back, than with the loaded revolver he was carrying.

The man shot himself in the back, but was not seriously injured. The brain damage was said to be a pre-existing condition.