Post 69 - New Rule

I'm a big fan of Bill Maher. I watch his show each week on HBO, and love the 'New Rules' part of his show. But this week he said something that is so incredibly true I had to re-post it. Now many people will see this as America bashing, but I see it as a total patriotism. If anyone believes this is anti-American, they are too stupid for living.

Here's what Bill Maher said:

"America must stop bragging that it's the greatest country on earth and start acting like it. Now, I know — I know this is uncomfortable for the faith-over-facts crowd, but the greatness of a country can, to a large degree, be measured. Here are some numbers: Infant mortality rate, America ranks 48th in the world; overall health, 72nd; freedom of the press, 44; literacy, 55th. Do you realize there are 12-year-old kids in this country who can't spell the name of the teacher they're having sex with?

Now, America, I will admit, has done many great things: making the New World democratic comes to mind, the Marshall Plan, curing polio, beating Hitler, the deep-fried Twinkie. But what have we done for us lately? We're not the freest country. That would be Holland, where you can smoke hash in church, and Janet Jackson's nipple is on their flag.

And, sadly, we're no longer a country that can get things done, either. Not big things, like building a tunnel under Boston or running a war with competence. We had six years to fix the voting machines. Couldn't get that done. The FBI is just now getting email!

Prop 87 out here in California is about lessening our dependence on oil by using alternative fuels, and Bill Clinton comes on at the end of the ad and says, "If Brazil can do it, America can, too." Excuse me, since when did America have to buck itself up by saying we could catch up to Brazil?! We invented the airplane and the lightbulb. They invented the bikini wax, and now they're ahead?!

In most of the industrialized world, nearly everyone has health care. And hardly anyone doubts evolution. And, yes, having to live amid so many superstitious dimwits is also something that affects quality of life. It's why America isn't going to be the country that gets the inevitable patents in stem cell cures, because Jesus thinks it's too close to cloning!

Oh, and did I mention we owe China a trillion dollars? We owe everybody money. America is a debtor nation to Mexico! We're not on a bridge to the 21st century. We're on a bus to Atlantic City with a roll of quarters.

And this is why it bugs me that so many people talk like it's 1955 and we're still number one in everything. We're not. And I take no glee in saying this, because I love my country, and I wish we were. But when you're number 55 in this category and number 92 in that one, you look a little silly waving the big foam "Number One" finger.

As long as we believe being the greatest country in the world is a birthright, we'll keep coasting on the achievements of earlier generations and we'll keep losing the moral high ground. Because we may not be the biggest or the healthiest or the best educated. But we always did have one thing no other place did. We knew soccer was bullshit.

And...and we also had a little thing called the Bill of Rights. A great nation doesn't torture people or make them disappear without a trial. Bush keeps saying the terrorists hate us for our freedom. And he's working damn hard to see that pretty soon that won't be a problem."

Asshole

This is not the first time I have written on the subject of online poker. It's a game I have grown to enjoy tremendously over the past three years and thanks to Bill Frist, steps are being taken to outlaw this wonderful game.

In a typical corrupt politician move he snuck anti-gambling legislation into a completely unrelated bill to secure our nations ports. Now one might ask first of all why it has taken five years since 9/11 to try and secure our ports, but that's probably a different issue.

In an underhanded move he slipped this faulty legislation into the bill and the whole thing got approved. When asked about the bill Frist said, "Gambling is a serious addiction that undermines the family, dashes dreams and frays the fabric of society." One might even start to agree with this wonderful logic until one reads the bill. You see the bill does not seek to outlaw online gambling at all. It actually provides exceptions for horserace betting, fantasy games, and online lotteries. So as they say in the south Dr. Frist is talking out of both sides of his mouth. You can't pretend to be tough on gambling while at the same time legalizing specific forms of it that you happen to like.

America is supposed to be land of the free. Why do we have to put up with assholes like this telling us which specific forms of gambling we are allowed to participate in? It's our money. We earned it, we paid our tax on it, and we want to spend it in a manner of our choosing. Trying to emulate China is not the way forward. We need to fully legalize online gaming, allow American companies to cash in on this massive market, tax it and regulate it. There can be no excuse for this attack on our liberties.

But despite the annoyance of this sleazy politician messing with our liberties, it is not all bad news. According to analysts the bill is deeply flawed. It does not make playing poker online illegal, it really just cracks down on companies operating in the US for the purpose of online gambling. The bill also makes it harder to transfer money from American banks or credit cards to online gambling sites. Of course this does nothing to prevent people from using Neteller or a similar service. So in other words it should change very little for American online poker players. Certain sites may withdraw from the market, but many more will remain.

With any luck these evil politicians will feel that their work on this issue is done, and go back to legalizing torture and plotting world war three. Maybe now they will leave online gaming alone for a while so we can continue to enjoy this all American game of poker.