Get Real

There is no doubt that Real Player has become quite a force in online video imagery. An alternative to the clumsy Windows Media Player and the atrocious Apple Quicktime. But they just pissed me off enough to blog about them.

My sister in law just got married on 08-08-08, and I watched the Vegas wedding via web cam as I was unable to be there in person. I watched it using Real Player. And rather helpfully, the latest version enabled me to record a copy of it for viewing later or sharing with others. Or at least I thought that's what it did. But it turns out the geeks at RealNetworks have been hard at work inventing yet another unnecessary and annoyingly proprietary file format known as the IVR (Internet Video Recording).

So while you can record those precious online moments, you are forced to only view them with Real Player and you cannot share them with commonly used online video services like YouTube.

WTF?

Why do we need to spend time and money inventing a special format that can only be used by one player? Why invent a format that cannot easily be converted? Why have a format that common video services online can't read?

But all their stupid time and effort was wasted. Because here's how to convert an IVR into a commonly used format in a few easy steps:

Converting an IVR file:

1. Have Real Player burn a copy of the file onto a Video CD or DVD.
2. Locate the .DAT file on the disc.
3. Download one of the many free .DAT converters off the Internet.
4. Convert the .DAT file into a far more usable and portable file format.

What I resent is that I had to waste a couple of hours of my life figuring this out, researching how to do it, burning a CD for no reason, and then finally converting the file to a nice MPEG.

I don't know where these companies get off wasting so much time and effort when all it does is piss people off and within a few days has been figured out by some computer expert or hacker somewhere.

So that's my little rant. Thanks for wasting two hours of my life Real. Now please stop wasting yours with crap like this.

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare

When I bought my PS3 in April, I still had a bit of a wait for Grand Theft Auto IV to come out, so I asked the guy in the shop what game to buy. His recommendation was Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. "It was game of the year, last year," he said. Apparently it was.

The single player mode isn't all that exciting. Interesting, but hardly mind blowing. But the multi-player game is incredible. Lots of strategy, interesting moments, problem solving, and head shots. Lot's of head shots. 2,900 as of this evening in fact.

Of course with any kind of game that involves interacting with others, you get some people who spoil things because of their inherent stupidity. So I decided to make a list of my pet peeves with people in the game. I may add to the list if anything comes to mind.

My favorite online game is the rather basic mercenary deathmatch. Two teams of six just kill each other as much as possible for ten minutes, or 75 kills, whichever comes first.

So here's my list, not exhaustive, and in no particular order:

1. Blocking the way. Please don't stand in a doorway or somewhere else that prevents others from getting past you. It's stupid and just likely to result in you and your team mate getting killed.
2. The noob tube. I saw on a forum that the gun mounted grenade launcher has been dubbed the noob tube by people who have played the game for more than a couple of hours. While it can be a good killing tool now and then, some people seem to spend the whole game using it. The problem with this is you gain no experience with your weapon, thus depriving yourself of bonus XP points and fancy skins for the weapons. Why throw away all those bonus points and weapons upgrades? Makes no sense.
3. Stupid noises. Thankfully, the rating of the game seems to limit the number of kids online talking smack over the microphone. I don't even possess a PS3 mic personally. But I do get to hear people talking shit, singing, playing crappy music, or heavy breathing. It is pretty damn annoying. Although one night I got to hear a woman spend an entire ten minute game berating her husband for wasting his time on the PS3 instead of getting off his ass and doing chores. She was evidently unaware that the rest of his team could hear her rant. It was quite amusing.
4. Disconnecting. This is more of a software issue than a person issue. At the start of the game, a player is randomly chosen to 'host' the game. If this person disconnects, or quits the game, it can end the entire game for all 11 other players. Personally, I think that if people do this a lot they should be excluded from hosting any more.
   

So as you can see, it's a pretty short list. The game is really good. As someone who used to be quite familiar with computer programming (68000 assembler was my language of choice), I can't even imagine what kind of genius it takes to write a 3D engine like this one. And graphically, it is astonishing how much attention to detail was put into the game.

I am grateful to the guy in the store for his recommendation. It is an amazing game, and will probably provide many more hours of fun for me. I'm half way to the coveted gold cross, and have not become bored yet.

The Two Coreys

The Two Corey’s on A&E was quite an interesting show this week. I just had a couple of issues I'd like to share with the group:

• Suzie, slutty bimbo wife of Feldman, is a total bitch. Sure this was apparent before, but in this episode especially she reveals her true colors. One minute she is pretending to be the supportive loving wife of Feldman and friend of Haim. Next minute she is whispering insults about Haim to her little husband. Then she pretends to care again, but within minutes is hurling abuse at someone she claims to want to help, and ends up openly insulting Haim's mother. I have to say, if I ever need help, she is at the bottom of my list of people from whom I'd like help.
  
• Corey Feldman is a control freak. And this episode actually highlights the reasons why Haim is so frustrated about the friendship. Let's not forget both of these former child stars were hard core drug addicts, not just Haim.
• Staging an intervention in this manner was stupid and arrogant. They were already in therapy, which could have led somewhere. Doing something specifically against the expressed wishes of Haim, just reinforces all the issues he has been complaining about on the previous episodes.
• Feldman has a nice BMW. Personally I'd not go for black (always looks dirty), and I think the six series is a little bit of an odd choice when there is a perfectly nice three or five series out there. But I do have an issue with the fact that he has an after market steering wheel cover on the car. Seriously, who buys a $90,000 car and puts a Walmart steering wheel cover on the wheel?
• Considering how messed up Haim seems to be, I thought he coped very well with what happened. And I hope he can continue working on himself.
• Finally, in closing, I'd just like to mention what a bitch Suzie Feldman appears to be. She acts awfully important for someone who's claim to fame is marrying a former child star she thought was dreamy in the movies, and getting her tits out for a porn mag.

Now I accept that there is a lot of artistic license taken with so called reality TV. We all know the escapades of Gene Simmons each week are completely fictional. However, with that in mind, I think that Suzie really does bring actual trailer trash bimbo bitch to the show, regardless of any additional scripting. Half the issues between the Coreys could be resolved if she wasn't there caniving; something she seems especially good at.

If Suzie Feldman is genuinely a nice person, just playing a role on this show, then my hat is off to her. Because she's doing one hell of an acting job to reveal such inner bitch. But I have a sneaking suspicion, she is not that good an actor.

UPDATE: I just saw a link online of Suzie Feldman, from her Playboy photo shoot. It seems she is as ugly on the outside as she is on the inside. That and being stupid. Oh dear, what a combo. [WARNING: Explicit Trailer Trash Nudie Ugly Content. Do not view within 2 hours of eating.]

Hasbro Kills Scrabulous

When Al Gore invented the Internet, it was a simple and enjoyable place where people could just hang out without much in the way of government and corporate interference. But sadly those days are long gone. Today it's all about corporate greed and bullshit.

Today the latest casualty is the much loved Facebook application called Scrabulous. It was the most popular game on the social networking site, with nearly a million Facebook users, and half a million active players every day. It allowed people from all over the world to enjoy a version of Scrabble with their friends.

Scrabble became a trademark in 1948, and at the moment the rights to the game are owned world wide by Mattel. However, for some reason in America and Canada the rights are owned by Hasbro.

Hasbro decided that they were unhappy with the existence of Scrabulous on Facebook and decided to sue the creators of the game and write nasty letters to Facebook demanding that the application be taken offline. Today the game has been disabled for American and Canadian players. So while the rest of the world enjoys the game, we get the shaft. To their credit Mattel who owns the rest of the world wide rights has not made any decision to sue or threaten.

Now you'd think that having played the part of playground bully, Hasbro would have their own version of Scrabble to push right? Wrong. The nearest thing available to American and Canadian players is a beta version, yes a beta version, of Scrabble produced by Electronic Arts. The only problem is, it doesn't actually work.

Let me repeat this. Hasbro has pulled the plug on Scrabulous so that we cannot play Scrabble at all on Facebook. What the fuck kind of stupidity is that? They've had since 2004 (when Facebook went live), to develop something. And the best they could do is get a non-working beta version of the game?

The sad thing is, unless a legal solution can be found the best we can hope for is an official version of Scrabble on Facebook in which the US and Canada is separated from the rest of the world.

Now I can see that Hasbro have a point. No one wants their trademark stolen. No one wants their idea used by another for profit. But what Scrabulous did was create close to a million people who now have a new interest in Scrabble. These people are not going to go out and buy a board version of Scrabulous, because there isn't one. Many of these Internet enthusiasts are going to buy a real board game, thus helping the brand, not hurting it.

Hasbro have been threatening a lawsuit for at least six months now. So they've had at least that long to make their Facebook application work. Mattel managed to get a working version for the rest of the world. So how has Hasbro manage to fuck things up so badly?

I know there are far more important issues in the world right now. Like the sad destruction of the Grand Pier at Weston-Super-Mare. But still, this is just another example of heavy handed RIAA style corportate bullshit in which only the consumer loses out.

Hogan Knows Best

"You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it's kind of crazy that a woman is running because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I'm so moody all the time, I know I couldn't be able to run a country, because I would be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, you know?"

McCainiac

I think I've made my position on old man McCain pretty clear. This guy is George Bush II: The Old Man Cometh. But this week he appears to be trying to compete with his Bush buddy with a series of McCainisms. In the 2000 election we all chuckled at Bushisms, where Bush displayed to the world just what a moron he was, and we elected him anyway.

This week McCain started his gaffes with the comment that there was a situation on the Iraq / Pakistan border. I think the 'situation' might be that there is no Iraq / Pakistan border, because there's a fucking country separating them called Iran!

But apparently the old man had more to say. On Wednesday, in what can only be described as a 'look at my balls' move, he credited George Bush with the recent drop in fuel prices.

Yep, that's right folks. During the Bush administration gas has jumped from 99c a gallon to well over $4 a gallon, thanks to his masterful control of the economy. In the past few weeks the price fell back a few cents, and this McCainiac wants us to thank George Bush!!!

I was completely dumbfounded by this statement. It would be like thanking a rapist for not killing you after he'd finished raping you.

Smile

I've seen some bullshit on the Internet over the years. From the bogus lottery wins to the members of the Nigerian Royal Family who need my help (and bank account) to get their fortune out of the country.

But I got an email today that really does take the cake. It was from Kodak. You may remember them as a company that used to make film, back in the old days when cameras were not digital.

Apparently some time ago when I was looking for a Flickr like company to put some pictures I had experimented with Kodak Gallery. I may have uploaded a picture or two and concluded the service was shit.

In the email I got today, they told me that I had 30 days to buy something or they were going to delete all my photographs! WTF?

That is the most unreal kind of marketing I've ever seen. There wasn't even a get out clause, like I could do something free to maintain my account. No if I want to have an account I need to give them money or have all my photographs deleted.

Now admittedly I don't use the service, and I don't give a shit if they delete my few images, but it just struck me as an incredible crass method of cleaning shop. But I guess when your stock price is half what it was three years ago, and you are becoming less relevant to the modern world desperation kicks in.

In an effort to catch up with my blog entries, I thought I'd rant here. It's as good a place as any.

I Endorse Obama

Recently I met someone playing poker and later discovered they had a blog. Upon reading it I came to an important realization: Blogs are supposed to be updated on a regular basis. I guess I didn't get the memo because I've clearly been a lazy bastard recently (where recent is probably a couple of decades or so) and I've not been keeping up with the blogging thing.

I'm sure the legions of fans have been missing my pointless rambling over the past few months, and therefore I wanted to reward their patience with a new post.

As we continue the incredibly long and tedious path to the White House it seems we are left, as usual, with a decision between two politicians. There are a large chunk of Americans who have to vote along party lines. Either you are pro life or pro choice, pro guns or uninterested in guns, gay hating or tolerant, etc. American politics appears to take the basic issues, pretend there is no gray area, and then guilt you in to voting in order to support your cause.

Personally, I can't vote. Something about being a damn immigrant. But if I were to vote, it would have to be for Obama.

I actually think he has a good message. Some say he is all fluff and no policy, but if you switch off Fox News for a moment and visit the Obama web site you'll see that he is detailed and clear about all the major issues. So if you think he is full of fluff, you aren't paying attention.

Then we have John McCain. Oh dear. Let's be clear about this. If he were in the work place, the only job he would seriously be considered for is a greeter at Wal-Mart. The guy is 71, going on 72. If he made two terms he would be 80. I'm sorry, to have to say this, but people of that age are not fit to run anything. They need to sit back and let the living take care of the world. They should restrict their politics to grumbling about the good old days to anyone that would listen.

Now, I know that may come across as harsh, but it's reality. This country does not need some doddery old fogey at the helm, regardless of his policies. But sadly his policies don't really make him any more appealing. He has talked about the need to distance ourselves from Russia and China. He has suggested ideas and policies that could bring about a new cold war, and hurt relations with a country that makes almost everything we buy. Then throw in the usual right wing crap about guns, abortions and sanctity of marriage, and you have George Bush II: This Time He's Old, And A Bit Less Of A Dick.

After eight years of being ass raped by George Bush, it is amazing that there is anyone left who would support a candidate so similar to what we are about to get rid of. I don't think that Obama is perfect. But then I have a general disdain for all politicians. However, the clear reality is, a vote for McCain is horrific act of unbridled stupidity.