Republican Shocker

I know that for some readers of my blog, this is going to come as something of a shock. So make sure you're sitting comfortably, and if you have a heart condition you might want to stop reading now...

Okay, so here's the news. Apparently, there is another stupid old white Republican douche bag in the Senate. I know, who would have thunk it?

This particular dinosaur is Jim Bunning, aged 78. He's the guy that just used another idiosyncrasy of the Senate to block a unanimous decision to extend unemployment and medical benefits to millions of Americans.

Having spent hours wasting everyone's time blocking a 30 day benefits extension, he likened the sacrifice he is forcing upon unemployed Americans, to his misfortune of missing a televised sporting event.

When pushed to reconsider his senile ramblings, he allegedly muttered "tough shit" and refused to alter his position.

Of course, sarcasm aside for a moment, it should come as no surprise whatsoever that a Republican doesn't give a fuck about poor people. Nor that a 78 year old former jock, would be too stupid to understand what the fuck is going on. But it raises two very important questions I've had for a long time:

1. Why the hell do we still allow these old morons to have any position of power whatsoever? Isn't it time we put an age limit on service?
2. If America is supposed to be the shining example of democracy for all the world to see, how is it that one decrepit douchebag can log jam the whole democratic process?

In any case, it seems even Republicans are embarrassed by this one. We all know that their master plan is to block everything they can to make Obama look ineffective, but sooner or later (with luck), the American people are going to wake up and realize that Republicans are deliberately hurting our country and the people in it, just to score political points. It's truly obscene.

Really Esquire?

Someone bought me a subscription to Esquire magazine recently, and this month in their 'essentials' section, I was told that the watch I should be wearing is the one pictured above. The Patek Philippe 5116G. They explained that this was a dress watch, so I should also purchase a Rolex for more sporty non-business attire type situations. Seriously? WTF?

Now I'm down with the expensive watch idea, which by my definition is any watch that costs four figures. But in this global economy, what percentage of their readers can afford to spend $20,000 on a Patek Philippe, and then buy a $10K Rolex just to wear around the house?

From what I understand Patek Philippe is an exquisitely made watch that is considered one of the best in the world. But many of the models in my opinion, look extremely plain/boring. This particular model is made of white gold, which looks a lot like polished stainless steel. So essentially you are paying a shit ton extra for the materials, even though they look much like their cheaper counterpart.

Now in terms of this specific model, there are some truly beautiful watches that cost less than half the price of their recommended model. This IWC, for example costs around $3,000 retail. And unlike the manual winding Patek Philippe, this one is self winding, and you could own six of them for the cost of the Patek. And it's not like IWC is not a highly respected offering.



Now if you are one of those people who can't bear to look at their watch and know it isn't made of gold, you could consider an Omega DeVille.

The DeVille is available in various forms, I picked this merely because of its similar layout to the Patek. At $7,000, this beautiful Omega watch is to me a far better buy than the Patek. First off, it looks nicer by a long way. And secondly, like the IWC, this is an automatic watch self winder with a 48 hour power reserve and a low maintenance coaxial movement.

Citizen make an outstanding eco-drive dress watch in a similar style that runs less than $200, and never needs a battery.

The bottom line here is that I cannot understand the point of a $20,000 dress watch with a leather strap (which will quickly wear out; it's leather after all), when it looks almost the same as other quality watches that cost thousands of dollars less. And keep in mind, I'm somewhat of a watch snob. I'm not one of those people that argues for buying a Casio G-Shock over a Tag Heuer.

Also, how many events are you attending in life where only a dress watch is suitable?

So now let's talk about Esquire's assertion that your other watch should be a Rolex. I'm sorry but as someone on right side of 40, I can't agree with that either. Sure, Rolex make a very good watch. But to recommend a watch that these days pretty much starts at $10,000 as a back up watch, for when you are not wearing your Patek, is fucking stupid. Less than 1% of their readers are going to have that kind of money that they would go out and buy $30,000 worth of watches on the say so of some $1 magazine.

So if I were to be extravagant and drop some serious money on some watches, here's how I would play it:


First off we have the limited edition (1948 made - to commemorate the year that Seamaster was launched) Omega Planet Ocean liquid metal. Cutting edge materials including a ceramic bezel. The amazing co-axial movement will last for years. This is just a cool watch, plain and simple. The fact it's limited edition bumps the price from the usual Planet Ocean price of $3,600 to around $5,800.

When it comes to a dress watch, I find it hard to get excited. Because for me, a quality watch like the Planet Ocean is so beautiful, I'd have to be at an extremely formal black tie event to feel the need for something more dressy. Even then, I'd argue that the Planet Ocean would fit in.

If forced to buy a dress watch, I'd probably go with the Omega DeVille I already mentioned. Although their X2 is pretty cool as an alternative. Pictured below runs around $13,400, but if you lose the gold, you can shave $9,000 off that price.


So my Omega take on the $30,000 watch problem would cost about $13,000. I'd own a limited edition Planet Ocean, which is an absolute classic. I'd also have a beautiful gold dress watch. Both quality chronometers. I'd have saved a minimum of $17,000 over what Esquire recommends allowing me to also buy a Rolex, if I were over 40 (and unoriginal), or simply wait a few years and buy something else as my tastes change.

Some people might argue that the Patek Philippe would be a better long term investment. But I call bullshit on that argument. Yes, collectors go crazy for these watches. But once you get into the mindset that your watch is a collectors item, it becomes all too easy to keep it in storage and not on your wrist. I'm talking about watches that you could actually wear every day, without worrying about hurting the future value of some investment because of an accidental scraping of watch and wall.

The simple reality when all is said and done is that the average Esquire reader cannot afford a $20,000 watch. Neither can most Americans. So perhaps Esquire could be a little less silly in the future.

Gay People and Old People

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
A Few Gay Men & Women
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

I've always said that old people (let's say over 70), should not be allowed to serve as congressmen, senators, and Supreme Court Justices.

This clip talks about Don't Ask Don't Tell, and then adds discussion about old people needing to retire and stop clinging to power.

It's not that I have anything against old people, I just think they need to take a back seat rather than shape policy for everyone.

More Republican Bullshit

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Apparent Trap
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

Here is the second video, which also features John Oliver in Hawaii. This time he asks Republican idiots to explain why government mandated health care doesn't work, when it has worked successfully in Hawaii for over 40 years.

The first part of the video covers Republicans explaining why they don't want to have a discussion on TV about their ideas for health care. Maybe because their ideas are simply to leave things exactly as they are so that insurance companies can continue to get rich off sick people.

I swear, it never ceases to amaze me how the party of NO and the party of NO IDEAS can continue to receive support from anyone.

Finally, thanks to the Daily Show for their continued outstanding brilliance, and for fixing their embed code so I can actually post their videos now. This feature never used to work.

Happy New Year 2010

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
RNC Meeting in Hawaii
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

Sorry readers for my long absence. I've been lazy, playing Call of Duty Modern Warefare 2, and writing a book. For all these reasons I've not been blogging.

Now it hardly makes up for it, but I am going to share three new videos from the Daily Show which I think are outstanding. Please enjoy...

This first video includes some of the douche-bag Republicans explaining why they are holding a meeting in Hawaii to talk about fiscal responsibility.

Bill Maher Quotes

It's been a while since my last post, but I've been writing a book. So far I'm 38,000 words in, and this is eating into my blogging time.

I've been meaning to post this for a while, but I've not gotten around to it. Here are some of my favorite Bill Maher quotes from recent times:

"It’s ridiculous to say that all Republicans are racist. That of course is not true. But nowadays, if you are a racist, you are probably a Republican."

"New Rule: Blockbuster cannot announce it's closing 960 stores. Where will I go to rent a movie in 1988? And how do they still have 960 stores? Blockbuster, if you're still open next fall, you owe me a late fee."

"New Rule: Stop bringing me the phone book! The last time anyone ever needed a phone book was 1988! And that was a cop using it to beat a suspect! If you're dropping a bag off on my porch, it had better be full of weed."

I'd personally like to expand on the last "New Rule" because every few weeks someone comes to my home while I am at work and dumps a sample of some crappy local paper on the floor outside my home. I stop, get out of my car, and take the (often) wet bag containing a newspaper I am never going to read and toss it into the trash. You guys at News & Neighbor need to realize a few things:

1. Your media is dying. We have this new invention called the Internet. I don't need to look at a dirty piece of paper and get ink on my hands to find out what is going on in the world. I already know; probably before you do, and certainly before you can send me your crappy paper.
2. From a sales point of view, when I have to get out of my car to pick your trash off my property, all it does is piss me off, not make me want to give you money.
3. When our private property has a sign that says "NO SOLICITING" this includes you, it wasn't a special sign we put up for all the other people trying to sell their shit from door to door.
4. I will never open the plastic bag to even look at your paper before throwing it in the trash. So let's save the environment together. Don't drive over here, don't print my copy in the first place, and don't pay someone to put it in a plastic bag that is going to spend hundreds of years in a land fill site.
5. You are going out of business. Maybe not now, maybe not next week, but you are going out of business. Accept that fact, close down now, before you hawk everything you own to keep afloat. There is precious little demand for a local rag as it is, without being the obscure one that no one reads in this area. The writing is on the wall.
   

GOP Down Wit Tha Uf

As if there were any doubt that Republicans are out of touch with normal people, their new GOP web site helps hammer that point home good and hard.

It's taken a while but Republicans have began to realize that there are only so many elections you can win if your base is a bunch of old white people and religious nut jobs. So they have taken the first awkward steps in the re-branding process, beginning with their shiny new web site.

The launch was not without technical glitches. When the 'beta' site first went live the prominent link to Future Leaders resulted in a blank 404 page. Oops.

Various critics have already pointed out a few other embarrassing facts. For example in the section for great Republicans past and present they include Jackie Robinson who said this in his autobiography;

“I admit freely that I think, live, and breathe Black first and foremost…Every chance that I got, while campaigning (for Nelson Rockefeller), I said plainly what I thought of the right-wing Republicans and the harm they were doing…By and large Republicans had ignored Blacks and sometimes handpicked a few servile leaders in the Black community to be their token 'niggers.' How would I sound trying to go out to sell Republicans to Black people? They’re not buying. They know better.”

Hardly a resounding pro-Republican analysis.

The 'hip' new (50 year-old) Republican leader Michael Steel even has a blog on the site, which was originally called, "What Up?" What up indeed. When they realized that the borrowed (and largely misunderstood) language of youth together with various animated patriotic 'bling' made them look like dicks, they hastily changed the blog name to "Change the Game."

But probably my personal favorite is the time line of Republican achievements. In the last twelve years, there are only currently four achievements listed, and they are:

1. Starting the war in Afghanistan in 2001.
2. Introducing tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans in 2001.
3. Invading Iraq in 2003.
4. Giving vouchers to school kids in DC to buy a private education in 2004.

Oddly there is no record of any Republican achievement in the past half decade.

A close look at the above list also doesn't hold much water either. Invading Afghanistan hasn't exactly worked out all that great for us. We've been losing over there for many years now, and our only real achievement is push the crazy people and terrorists into Pakistan which has the net result of destabilizing a nation that has nuclear weapons.

Introducing tax cuts for the most wealthy in America has simply increased poverty in the middle and working classes. The trickle down theory ended up being bullshit, and our decimated economy is a testament to the failed Republican policies of the Bush administration.

Invading Iraq is clearly not a high point of the Bush administration. At the time of writing the combined cost of both wars is nearing a trillion dollars, and this does not even consider the ongoing costs that will be with us for decades, even if we pulled out of both countries tomorrow.

I honestly don't really know if the vouchers for kids in DC was a good thing or not, but when stacked up against the horrific No Child Left Behind policies and Abstinence Only sex education policies, there is simply no way the success of the DC voucher program could offset the carnage caused by the aforementioned monstrosities.

I can't say I am surprised by any of this though. Out of touch Republicans will try just about anything to get their way. They will road block health care reform that costs Americans 45,000 lives each year. They will blatantly lie and act as if previous statements they have made were not recorded on camera. And in the case of this web site, they will try desperately to recruit youth votes by pretending to be something they are not.

Let us hope that American youth who are just now reaching voting age are smart enough to see through this latest Republican scam. Of course if they were victims of No Child Left Behind, who knows if they even posses the cognitive function and reading skills to objectively evaluate the Emperors New Clothes, in web site form. I certainly hope so.

Nobel Prize

Today the President of the United States won the Nobel Peace Prize. It's a remarkable achievement for a sitting president, especially so early in his first term. But the reaction of the right was as expected; scorn, hate, racism (often disguised racism; but racism nonetheless), criticism, and talk about the end times.

What's sad though is the fact that the leader of America won one of the most prestigious awards on the planet, and there were people out there ready to use this fact to push their terrible agenda.

Many on the right talked about how Obama hasn't done enough (encumbered as he is cleaning up the massive fucking mess left by George W. Halfbrain). Many said that he was not worthy and made quips about us failing to get the Olympics in 2016.

The bottom line here is that despite our many problems right now, an American President won an incredible award, and therefore as a nation we should be proud. Those who denigrate this achievement need to take off their white sheets, lower their confederate flags, and stop being so unpatriotic.

What our President has done in the first few months of office is begin to show the rest of the world that we are smart enough to elect a person with a triple digit IQ. A person who actually likes the idea of co-operating with our friends around the world, engaging in diplomacy and statesmanship.

The international community is proud of the baby steps we have taken away from being insular and xenophobic. In 2009 we cannot afford to stumble around the world like a paranoid drunk trying to pick fights. We need to engage other countries, and participate in the international community (participation is not the same as bombing BTW).

With more great leadership and time we can continue to grow in stature around the world. But as usual a vocal group of retards wants to attack Obama for being too smart, achieving too much respect while being in possession of non-white skin, and trying to make friends rather than enemies.

If a liberal ever criticized Bush during a 'time of war' they were labeled as unpatriotic. But when President Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize, it's okay for the right to go off on another tiresome rant?

If you are an American who is upset that our President has won this award, you are probably a racist, probably a moron, and you need to accept that you've lost the plot. It's fine to disagree with the president if you wish to; that's our right. But when he wins something like this it's time to be proud of our nation and our great accomplishments.