John McCain, owned on Meet The Press

McCain vs. McCain

Sarah Palin Arrested

Governor Sarah Palin was arrested by police today on charges that she did in fact abuse her authority in the so called 'troopergate' case.

In a 263 page report, the investigative panel found that the Governor had applied pressure on a state official to fire her ex-brother-in-law from his job as a State Trooper, because he was 'a bad man, who was mean to my sister.'

After reading the damning report that showed Governor Palin to be so completely incompetent and untrustworthy the District Attorney issued a warrant for her arrest on Sunday night.

Authorities finally caught up with Palin as she boarded the straight talk express tour bus in West Virginia. Police say there was an old man on board rambling about being a maverick, but while he appeared to be very old and confused, he did not cause any problems during the arrest. Although it is possible he may be charged with harboring a fugitive, if it can be proven he is of sound mind.

Sarah Palin is reported to be in custody today awaiting extradition to Alaska. Her court hearing is scheduled for Friday where she will answer various corruption and abuse of power charges, together with additional charges regarding her refusal to cooperate with the investigation (where she falsely claimed 'executive privilege.')

Her lawyer stated that while she clearly did abuse her position as Governor, she should not face jail time due to the fact that she did not make any personal financial gain from her crimes.

Sarah Palin, issued the following statement though her lawyer:

"Gosh darn it. Say it ain't so? I don't want to answer questions about my competency or the fact that I abused my power. I want to talk about energy. That's what it's all about you see? When Joe Sixpack and Hockey Mom's sit around the kitchen table, what they care about is fuel prices, not my criminal activities. I don't like how things happen in Washington here, because I am a maverick and so is my old friend John McCain.

Obama Hussein is obviously a terrorist. He pals around with them all the time you know? And he's like black and stuff right? And I think he eats kittens too. While they are still alive.

Anyway I am going to tell that judge in court on Friday that I am innocent. Using facts to convict me is just typical partisan backwards lookin' politics. No one wants to discuss the past anyway, what matters is the future. That's what we mavericks say. Gosh darn it, why don't you people understand?"

Sarah Palin Report Card

Someone just emailed me this article from the Guardian Newspaper in the UK. It is an extremely insightful viewpoint on the recent Vice Presidential debate.

Here is a little taster from the article:

Here, for example, is how she responded to Biden's comments about how the middle class has been short-changed during the Bush administration, and how McCain will continue Bush's policies:

Say it ain't so, Joe, there you go again pointing backwards again. You preferenced [sic] your whole comment with the Bush administration. Now doggone it, let's look ahead and tell Americans what we have to plan to do for them in the future. You mentioned education, and I'm glad you did. I know education you are passionate about with your wife being a teacher for 30 years, and god bless her. Her reward is in heaven, right? ... My brother, who I think is the best schoolteacher in the year, and here's a shout-out to all those third graders at Gladys Wood Elementary School, you get extra credit for watching the debate.

President Obama Wins Second Debate

Like many people, I watched the Presidential debate last night. And as the BBC said, it was hardly a fair fight.

Believing that a Town Hall Meeting was his strong suit, McCain was expecting to win in this kind of format. He imagined he would have the advantage. But sadly, simply because the expectation was set, even a draw was a loss for John McCain.

However, what we saw was a decisive win for President Obama. He was clear and articulate as we have come to expect. Whereas John McCain was seen lurching around the stage like an escapee from an old people's home.

When McCain was speaking President Obama sat, or stood in the background looking at ease with the situation. Presidential if you will.

When President Obama was speaking, McCain shuffled around, scribbled notes, sat down, stood up, paced about like he was lost.

When McCain was speaking, he managed to constantly turn his back to the camera and move uncomfortably from one spot to another. Trying desperately to frighten the American people as conservatives seem to like to do.

As an aside, I thought the moderator was an asshole. You can't keep admonishing the speakers for going over the time, when it was clear that the timers were not working properly for the one minute sessions, only the two minute sessions. And even so, you don't talk to presidential candidates in that manner.

In any case the McCain Palin ticket is over. An old man and a bimbo just isn't going to cut it with the American people. I think that the only people who are going to support John McCain are those who always vote Republican, the terminally stupid, and racists. And even then, I don't see the turn out being that high.

Unless President Obama releases a rap album about killing cops, pimpin' and smokin' crack, I think he has this one in the bag. And I can't wait to see him in action.

McCain-o-nomics

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (Prestige)

Well I nearly made it. I am just one level up away from that coveted Gold Cross.

Prepare to die.

Bad Beat Story

I'm going to whine a little about my recent local pub poker tournament knockout. Please send me money and weep a tear for me.

1) The cracked aces

Starting stacks were $8,000. On the third hand, I bet four times the big blind with my pocket aces. I get two callers, one with queens, the other with pocket fives.

I was 64.83% to win pre-flop until pocket five girl flops a set and turns a boat. I fold my aces on the turn, knowing I was beaten.

2) The donkey call

Over the next half hour I completely failed to connect with the flop, and my stack had slipped to around $2,500, having picked up only two small pots, and losing several small pots.

I look down to discover AQo. With just one limper, I push my remaining stack in. Everyone folds to the early position limper, who thinks for a while and with just $400 invested, decides to call anyway, for another $2,100. He has Q7 of hearts, for a 28.36% shot at the pot.

The flop brings a queen, and a heart. I now have a lead of 81.52%. The turn and river are both hearts, giving the calling station a flush.

So that's how I got knocked out of my last tournament in two easy steps.

In the previous pub poker tournament, I flop a Broadway straight, and my opponent turns a boat, costing me half my stack. On the first hand. I limp crippled around the tournament for about four hours and then get knocked out.

Let's hope the next tournament is less of an annoying turd fest for me. I guess at least this one didn't take too long to be over.

I feel so much better now. Normal service of disrespecting Sarah Palin and Old Man McCain will continue on this blog tomorrow.