Billy Mays Dead At 50

I was sad to hear that Billy Mays passed away this weekend at the age of 50. Sunday would have been his birthday.

I was fairly ambivalent about him until I started watching his reality show Pitchmen. In the show he is clearly a good man with a great sense of humor. He seemed to get a genuine kick out of helping others.

Now we're stuck with that fucking Shamwow guy. Hardly the same.

Billy Graham's Prayer For Our Nation

I received an email from someone today, one of the circular emails that fly around the web, and truth be told, I had a bit of a problem with it.

To me it demonstrates one of the underhand techniques that religious leaders use to lure people to church. It's basically the whole deterioration of society argument that some Christian leaders like to use. They use this philosophy to push the notion that anything bad happening in the world is a sure sign that the end times are upon us, and therefore NOW is the time to commit time and money to the church.

Sadly though, this argument has been used for thousands of years, and it is as wrong today as it was 2,000 years ago when Jesus preached it (MT 24:32 for example).

Anyway, here's the prayer, along with my comments:

"THIS MAN SURE HAS A GOOD VIEW OF WHAT'S HAPPENING TO OUR COUNTRY!"

- An enthusiastic introduction by one of the originators of this email, I assume.

'Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, 'Woe to those who call evil good,' but that is exactly what we have done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values."

- So first we define the problem. The world is going to Hell. Let's start with a little fear and the assertion that our current 'direction' is wrong.

"We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery."

- Actually proceeds from the lottery have enabled thousands of underprivileged people a chance at an education. Tennessee, for example, only got Powerball in 2004 (the Christian fundamentalists didn't want it in Bible Belt), yet already in just five years over $1,400,000,000 has been raised for education. Without the money from the lottery we'd have had to forgo education opportunities that the money allows, or tax people. The great thing about the lottery is that it is an optional tax on those who wish to give it. The citizens of this state benefit from the money raised.

Taking a look at the bigger picture, what is the alternative? Ban the lottery? Deprive hundreds of thousands of citizens across this nation of the good that lottery money has brought? Tax people more? People WANT to play the lottery, and those who don't agree with it simply don't have to play. They can equally refuse to accept grant money and other lottery benefits.

"We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare."

- Well if this isn't the biggest misconception in America, I don't know what is (except maybe health care reform, and the critical need for it). People who receive welfare are NOT always lazy lowlifes. Quite often there are genuine cases of need for welfare. This fucking stupid and irresponsible vilification of welfare merely adds to the stigma of those on welfare, and ingrains the nasty notion that being on welfare is bad and wrong.

I'm sure there are some lazy people who take welfare instead of working. But for every lazy person there are probably at least 100 genuine cases of people who need help.

What could be more Christian than helping the needy? Isn't that the message of Jesus?

But no, in this country where Christianity has been hijacked by Republicans we are taught not to help others, but to pour scorn on those who need our help and understanding.

"We have killed our unborn and called it choice."

- We have equally killed our babies, because Republicans don't believe that free health care should be an absolute right for all children. This right wing policy has helped us reach a staggeringly low 42nd country in the world for infant mortality.

As I've already reported, abortion cannot be a real issue while we are turning our backs on babies and letting them die. To all you pro-life people out there, get back to me when every single child in this country is given free access to world class health care, and our infant mortality figures stop being such a massive embarrassment. Until that time, boo hooing about removing a cluster of cells from a uterus isn't going to fly with me.

"We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable."

- It's easy to justify when you use deliberately emotive language such as 'killing babies.'

"We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self esteem."

- Actually, I think it is really just a question of fundamental laziness. I don't think that parents who care are actively failing their children with good intentions, most of the problems with child rearing stem from parental apathy and/or stupidity.

But this sounds more like a shot at those liberals who think it's wrong to beat children. Not to worry Mr. Graham, we still lead the western world at beating children in school. Mostly minorities and people with disabilities, but who's counting?

"We have abused power and called it politics."

- By 'we' do you mean the religious right and Republicans under George Bush? Amen brother.

"We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition."

- Good old fashioned American greed is pretty much a hallmark of our society. Nothing new here, and certainly more of a right wing problem than left.

"We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression."

- Boo fucking hoo. Saying the word 'fuck' does not pollute the air any more than saying the word 'love.' But what would you like Billy? Some nice government crack down on freedom, just so we can impose your stupid fucking values on everyone else? If that's what you're in to, Iran is a great country if you like sun, sand and absolute control by religious extremists.

"We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment."

- You mean we have evolved as a society? Which bit you didn't like? When we gave black people the vote? How about letting women go to college? Yeah, I see what you mean, so sad to see us not embracing the values of 200 years ago. Moron.

"Search us, Oh God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and Set us free. Amen!'"

- How can an omnipresent being search us? Isn't He already there/here/everywhere?

"Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on his radio program, 'The Rest of the Story,' and received a larger response to this program than any other he has ever aired. With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep over our nation and wholeheartedly become our desire so that we again can be called 'One nation under God..'"

- Here's where we try to legitimize this crap by pretending that everyone else thinks this way too.

"Think about this: If you forward this prayer to everyone on your e-mail list, in less than 30 days it would be heard by the world. (It's worth a try!) One Nation Under God."

- And finally the chain letter hook to make the reader believe they can be a part of a movement.

The sad reality is that there are billions of human beings who don't even have access to sufficient food, medicine and water on a regular basis. I somehow think that they may not possess an email address (iPhone / Computer / other technology / even a fucking phone), rather scuppering the plan to rouse people all over the world. Not to mention the fact that many of our fellow humans choose not to believe in the exact same way as Billy Graham.

Heidi & Spencer Pratt To Write Book

Heidi & Spencer Pratt announced this week that they were 'writing' a 'book' about how to be 'famous.'

Wouldn't it be good if the book was actually about developing a skill and becoming so good at something, you became famous?

These morons, who seem to be hell bent on making the movie Idiocracy come true, are just one of a long line of so-called celebrities, who got famous despite having no talent whatsoever. The brutal reality is, if you've ever been on "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here..." you are in fact, not a celebrity, you are a useless hack who is desperate for attention and/or money.

In any case kids, you better save that reality show money because by my count, your 15 minutes is nearly up and you're both clearly far too stupid to hold down real jobs.

My New Omega Seamaster Chronometer

This week I added another watch to my watch collection. After a string of three Tag Heuer watches, I decided to look for something different.

My last watch was the Tag Link Diamond, but up to this point I had always purchased the quartz battery powered versions. This time I wanted an automatic self winding chronometer.

So I did the research, trolled through dozens of web pages and forums, and eventually found the watch I wanted. Omega is quite high end as a manufacturer goes. Ignoring the insanely priced watches that start at $10,000+ and considering the more affordable brands below $3,000.

Now a few years ago I requested some information from Omega and they sent be a couple of delightful coffee table books featuring some of their watches. But I'm very picky and only really liked one of their Seamasters that both looked good, and was a reasonable price. However, it wasn't really that much nicer than my Tag to justify the $2,300 they wanted for it. So I didn't make a purchase.

More recently a friend of mine wanted to replace his watch and started doing the research. He stumbled across the 2265.80, which is the quartz version of my new watch. After be bought it, I was blown away by the striking good looks of the watch, and decided that the automatic version needed further investigation.

After a little more research I located a dealer willing to discount to a price similar to the Internet price, but with full Omega warranty. I also discovered that Omega have discontinued this model as they axe the 'cheaper' watches and move upscale with their newer Co-Axial movements. Apparently they are looking to take a chunk out of Rolex sales. So I had to act quickly to snatch up one of these delightful watches before the stock ran out. And fortunately I was just in time.

I got the watch within 24 hours of ordering with all the official papers and documentation. Nice to find a business that does exactly what they say they are going to do when they say they are going to do it.

I've had my new watch for 24 hours now, so I figured it was time to post a review.

Review: Omega Seamaster Professional Chronometer

The Omega Seamaster Professional Chronometer2255.80, is a really beautiful watch. What Omega have done is marry the chunky solid look of a rugged diver's watch, with a sense of fun and style. It's in-your-face, but not offensively so. It's not diamond encrusted, it's not so big you look like a rapper with no taste. It's just sits there and says 'hello' but doesn't shout.

The face of the watch is 'electric blue' as opposed to the more subdued sea blue they offer in the same range. I think that the term cobalt blue would also be a good way to describe it. Whatever material Omega have used to create the face, it is certainly beautiful. It seems to change color depending on light conditions. Under some conditions it looks almost black, and with bright natural light it has an iridescent blue to it. There is a very fine Seamaster wave cut into the dial too, that adds another dimension of interest to the design.

I love a watch that is easy to read, and the large sword hands and big indices, certainly provide that ease of use factor. A generous coating of Super Luminova ensures a fierce night time glow, for quite some time after the lights go out.

Being an automatic watch the seconds hand sweeps smoothly around the dial, making 28,800 tiny movements an hour. As a certified chronometer it has passed various Swiss standards for accuracy, elevating it above the average automatic watch.

Speaking of movements, this particular one is being phased out by Omega in favor of their new line of Co-Axial movements. But this model is based on a top quality ETA movement that Omega modify heavily to create the 1120. It's been around for many years now, and is certainly tried and tested.

The watch case is finished with a lot of care and subtle detailing. Some parts have been polished to a mirror like shine, while others are satin. It all adds up to a substantial and beautiful case, that protects the watch to 300m / 1000ft below the sea. Somewhere I'll never be going (hopefully). There's a helium release valve I'll never be using that protects the watch from pressure changes while decompressing in a diver's bell. Somewhere else I hope never to be.

Like most watches the crown unscrews and can be used to set the date and time, but also wind the watch if you leave it unworn for too long.

The back of the case features a carving of a sea creature, and more of the Seamaster wave pattern. There's also a laser etched security mark, and the serial number.

The bracelet is the three link Speedmaster style bracelet. Three large pieces of brushed steel with two tiny polished accents at the join for another dimension of style. It's extremely comfortable and looks interesting.

The clasp is very nice, utilizing two push in buttons that must be depressed simultaneously to remove the watch from your wrist. Despite the high quality, I've read that because of the location, design and shape of the clasp it can be easy to scuff. Supposedly, it's not that hard to fix if you do scuff it up. Alternatively you can buy a new bracelet for $500ish should you need to.

What you're left with is a stunning watch with a serious pedigree, and real presence about it. I feel fortunate to have captured one of the last ones ever made by Omega. I'll certainly be wearing it every day, and believe that it is suitable for casual wear, and can also be worn in the boardroom with a suit.

If you are highly conservative type that can't get past the blue dial, there are various Seamaster watches that have a black or subdued blue face, and matching bezel insert.

I'll post an update after I've owned the watch for a while, and let you know how it is going. Certainly for now, I'm very impressed.

Fake Republican Outrage

As I watch Republicans rebrand themselves as the party of no ideas, it is interesting to see the latest trend of the fake outrage. Not a week goes by now, when Republicans and their crazy supporters are not 'outraged' by something new.

This week talk is all about David Letterman. Last week he made some silly joke about the Palin kids getting knocked up, and suddenly it's been blown up into an insane fiasco. After apologizing, Letterman invited failed vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin on the show, an offer she declined on the basis that it would not be 'safe.'

The Hilton group, known for such classy offerings as Paris Hilton, recently pulled their Embassy Suites ads from the CBS web site stating that their guests might have found the comments 'offensive.'

The lasted asshole to jump on the bandwagon is Micheal Patrick Leahy, the brainchild behind the teabagging parties. He has stated that the comments made by Letterman are 'disgraceful' and 'egregious.' He went on to liken the silly joke to the racist comments that got Don Imus fired from the radio. His next move is going to be to organize a few hundred morons that listen to this prick, to go and protest the studio.

As Republican assholes like to say, "Gimme A Break..." One silly little joke about teen pregnancy in a family that has already had one does not warrent all this fake outrage. If these people want a real issue to complain about, how about the reality that American infant mortality is so bad? How about a discussion about out of control teen pregnancy rates in America (caused in part by failed Republican policies supported by Sarah Palin)?

But I guess that would be too easy. Republicans have lost the plot, and instead of putting forth a manifesto of great solutions to the problems Bush created for us, they have become the party of 'NO' and anger.

Now don't get me wrong, I think Letterman should have retired years ago. This American concept that late night hosts must stay on the air as long as they are capable of talking for an hour is crazy. But for a group to claim he should be fired for reading a joke his writers threw together is just pathetic. Some people need to get real.

Crazy 4 Jesus?

I have to say, you see some crazy shit on TV after 1am.

I was channel surfing just before bed, and found this infomercial for some cult that was claiming if you sent a 'seed' of $1,000 to them, God would make miracles work in your life such that your 'seed' would grow and your 'investment' would come back to you multiplied.

But not to be outdone by the terminally stupid, I'd like to extend a special offer right here right now. Send me a $10,000 seed, and I promise to ask 'god' to reward you 20X what this cult is offering. That's like two for one! How could you resist? Act now and I'll throw in a free magic stone that keeps demons away. FREE SHIPPING AND HANDLING!

You're Fired!

I had to laugh today when I heard that the little bitch Carrie Prejean (Miss California) had been fired by Mr. Trump.

Miss California was skating on some pretty thin ice from the moment she expressed her views on 'opposite marriage.' She then got scooped up by the radial crazy religious right, and went on a crusade to 'protect' the sanctity of marriage.

Her homophobia annoyed many, and it was soon discovered that Carrie Prejean was in fact quite a whore, not the devout Christian she was playing on TV. Turns out she had participated in some racy semi-nude photos when she was a child, and then lied about it when she applied to be Miss California. Then we find out that she let someone buy her a boob job to help her win.

Now it turns out that she has become so self absorbed even Trump doesn't like her anymore! She has failed to fulfill her Miss California obligations, passing up required appearances in favor of her gay bashing hate quest. Eventually organizers of the pageants had no choice but to dump this trashy little tart. And in my opinion, not a moment too soon.

Oakley Customer Service

I recently purchased some new shoes from Oakley.com and decided it is time I rant about it on my blog.

I've always liked Oakley as a brand. They have some cool products that are pretty stylish and innovative.

But enough of the preamble. I ordered some shoes, they came, and to my annoyance the special Oakley logo laces were severely damaged on the left shoe. No biggie, I thought. I'll just take a picture of it, email it to Oakley, and they will probably just ship me a replacement set of laces.

Wrong.

I eventually had to call Oakley three times, and email them four times, eventually threatening to reverse payment on the item until they resolved the issue. Sadly it seems they have hired a bunch of young surfer kids to run their customer service department. A bunch of shallow pretty people who are quick to sound concerned, but completely incapable of the responsibility of follow up or actually doing anything. These entitled millennials rule the roost at Oakley customer service, that's for sure.

Two weeks later the best solution they could come up with was to ship me a new pair of shoes, and a shipping label to return the 'old' ones.

I haven't seen this kind of customer service shambles since I lived in England.

It's going to cost Oakley $25 or so to send my new shoes, and $20 more to get the old ones back. Then there's the handling costs, and presumably those millenials don't work for free (or at all it would seem).

Quite why a company would flush their profits down the toilet in this way is quite beyond me. Unless they give me a nice fat voucher to say sorry, I won't be shopping there again. Most of the Oakley products can be purchased cheaper at Amazon.com anyway.

Now that I've made myself sound suitably old by bashing millenials, I'm going to hobble down the stairs, sit on my deck and shake my fist at some young kids. GET OFF MY LAWN!

Westboro Baptist Church Psychos

Anyone who follows the news will have heard the sad story of the women's health care provider Doctor George Tiller who was murdered at his church last Sunday by an anti-abortion protester.

Today the grieving family held a funeral, and although it was generally peaceful, 17 people took it upon themselves to travel across the country and protest during the funeral.

Words cannot begin to describe what kind of psychotic mother fucker would take the time to travel to the funeral of a stranger to stage a protest. But then these people are part of a cult that regularly does this as part of their ongoing publicity stunts that are, according to them, spreading God's word.

On their delightful website GodHatesFags.com, they lay out their mission to save humanity from sin:

"WBC engages in daily peaceful sidewalk demonstrations opposing the homosexual lifestyle of soul-damning, nation-destroying filth. We display large, colorful signs containing Bible words and sentiments, including: GOD HATES FAGS, FAGS HATE GOD, AIDS CURES FAGS, THANK GOD FOR AIDS, FAGS BURN IN HELL, GOD IS NOT MOCKED, FAGS ARE NATURE FREAKS, GOD GAVE FAGS UP, NO SPECIAL LAWS FOR FAGS, FAGS DOOM NATIONS, THANK GOD FOR DEAD SOLDIERS, FAG TROOPS, GOD BLEW UP THE TROOPS, GOD HATES AMERICA, AMERICA IS DOOMED, THE WORLD IS DOOMED, etc."

Since June of 1991, they claim to have arranged over 40,000 protests. What a sad reality that there are enough empty headed morons out there, that a hate filled cult like this can continually stage protests in this vile and abhorrent way.

I guess the real question here is; if there is a god, why would he create people who are so fucking stupid?