Consolidated Communications

So I called Consolidated Communications, my pitiful cable company, because they owe me a massive rebate on their crappy and over-priced service.  I simply have not had time to reach them yet, due to my busy work schedule.

Here was my route to wonderful customer service:

Thank you for calling Consolidated Communications...
For English, press one...
To establish new service press one...
For billing, press two...
For customer service press three...
Please note that your call may be monitored or recorded for quality assurance purposes.  Please have your customer number and PIN available.  You will find this information on the top of your bill.
Please enter your ten digit customer number followed by the pound key.
That response is not valid.
Please enter your ten digit customer number followed by the pound key.
That response is not valid.
For business, press one.
For residential, press two.
Thank you for calling residential customer service.  Unfortunately, we are a bunch of lazy fucktards that don't open at the weekend.  After all, why the fuck would you want customer service on Saturday?  It's not like you have a job, I bet you spend your fucking welfare on this $140 cable service don't you?  Well you fat couch potato loser, why don't you call back when it is convenient to us, which is 8am to 5pm Monday to Friday, and never on the fucking weekend.  Get it?  We hope you fucking die, goodbye.

Now I admit, I made up the bit in italics, but the rest is exactly what happened.  I am tasked with punching in a bunch of random buttons on my phone for five minutes, only to be told that these bastards don't even open at the weekend.  Call me crazy, but why not mention that at the beginning of the call?  Offer me the choice of using the automated service or calling back during business hours.  Isn't this common sense?  And seriously, who doesn't provide customer service on the very days most Americans get off work?

Maybe next time we move, we'll find a decent cable company.  I'm thinking of going Dish...