Conservative Parents

I happened to overhear a conversation the other day between two conservative parents, who were still in their twenties.  One said to the other, "I've told my kids, they can have a Facebook account when they turn 18..."

It reminded me of a theory I've had for a while now about how conservative parents fuck up their children, despite the best of intentions.

The picture above of course needs no explanation.  All over the country right now, tiny children are being dressed as sluts and paraded around stages in front of a bunch of old pervert guys and sad old women who want to live vicariously though their daughters.  It's not just the pageant scene either, I've seen young parents on Facebook asking their friends to vote on the cuteness of their (usually) girl, for some school competition.

But while I find the entire concept of teaching girls that their worth is only in their appearance, the issue I specifically wanted to post about is that of overly strict parents.  Among conservatives there is the belief that enacting certain laws will magically stop crime.  And among this same subset of conservatives, you'll find parents who think that strict rules, spanking, total control of a child's social life, and spying on their kids will produce a well rounded and safe child.  Some even take this as far as home schooling their children so they can keep tabs on them 24/7.

The fact is, these ideas are, like most conservative ideologies, okay on the surface.  If you only think of the most basic and superficial aspects of your logic, then all this can make wonderful sense.  Strict rules build character.  Spanking provides a deterrent for bad behavior.  A dose of the belt can reinforce a lesson when needed.  Organizing all of a child's social interactions will ensure they don't meet with undesirables (people of a different race, social class, religion, sexuality, gender, political leaning).  Spying on their children will allow them to monitor the adherence to the path they have been forced to walk.  And home schooling will ensure that the right classes are taught, and silly nonsense such as science, gender equality, evolution, and other non-Christian values will be omitted.  With the right grades the little dear might make it into a Christian college founded by a former TV evangelist.

Living in Bible belt I've met kids like this.  Fortunately, no amount of parental abuse can alter the fact that they are human beings.  And at some point, perhaps not today, or even next week, but one day these children will grow up.  They will rebel and finally tell their overly controlling parents to go fuck themselves.  Prior to this final blow up will be a lot of subterfuge and lying to ensure that certain undesirable behavior will remain hidden from the parents.  As a result instead of open lines of communication, honesty and respect, what you have instead is a child who learns pretty quickly that parents cannot be trusted with the truth.  This in turn leads to risky behaviors, carried out without knowledge of the parents.  Useful discussions about drugs, alcohol and sex, never happen because instead the parent simply tells the child that all such activities are forbidden and sinful, so the child does them anyway without helpful guidance or supervision.

Now having criticized conservative parents I would certainly balance that with the obvious realization that Drew Barrymore clearly could have used some less liberal boundaries during her childhood.  Sure, she turned out okay, but that was raw talent and some luck more than good parenting.  For every Drew Barrymore there are a slew of other kids who ended up dead thanks to bad parenting.

The only conclusion I can reach is that parents need to be parents.  Not in your face controlling assholes, and not hippies who want to be your friend and smoke weed with you.  There has to be a middle ground.  But whichever path you take, please stop putting little girls into pageants.  It's so fucking wrong it isn't even funny.