Study: Virginity Rings Don't Work

I've long been suspicious of the abstinence movement, especially when coupled with virginity rings, abstinence pledges, and a lack of proper sex education.

A new study has shown that the concept is in fact just as stupid as I always thought it was.

Specifically, the study found that virginity pledgers have sex for the first time at similar ages to those who don't take a pledge or wear a moron ring. They are just as likely to engage in vaginal, anal or oral sex. They are just as likely to have STDs.

In fact the only real difference the study discovered is that pledgers are 10% less likely to use a condom, and less likely to use any form of birth control than non-pledgers (thus proving their ignorance and stupidity).

The study also found that five years after taking the pledge 80% denied ever having made such a promise or pledge. Showing that not only are they gullible, immature and stupid, they are also more likely to lie.

With any luck the new government will stop peddling this religious-based abstinence crap on our kids and return to teaching facts.