Sarah Palin Contemplates Book Deal

Today's Alligator Blood Award has to go to Sarah Palin, the woman that just won't go away.

Apparently there are some idiots out there who were actually impressed by her nonsensical right wing rambling, and her part in costing John McCain the Presidency. So much so it has been rumored by industry professionals that she could be offered as much as $7m to write her memoirs.

Allow me to kick off some of the first chapter for you, Sarah:

Well gosh darn it, I had just come back from an animal killin' trip, and who do you think called me? It was that old man from the TV. I wasn't sure at first if it was really him, because I am quite a sucker on the phone, so I just played along and acted dumb. He asked me if I wanted to be Vice President. I was quite excited, because I've always wanted to control the Senate, and stuff like that. So of course I said, you betchya!

So then I set out on my mission to destroy John McCain's election chances by going rogue and maverick at the same time. I winked a lot, and said a lot of hokey things to convince those dumb ass Americans, that I am just a good ole hockey mom, just like them.

I thought up a fool proof strategy of calling out 80% of American who live in urban areas, and telling them that they were not real Americans. Then I made up some lies about refusing to build the bridge to nowhere, despite supporting its construction with the felon I liked to pal around with Ted Stevens.

I peddled some racist filth for a while, told lies, and covered my tracks by giving a series of wonderful interviews where I showed the world what a nice smart mommy I was. I tried to pretend to be poor, to appeal to the Republican base (they just love poor people). And also expressed some whacked out crazy right wing shit to try and energize the religious right. Speaking of energy, let me tell you about energy...

You're welcome Sarah. My only question is after you write your book (and we both know you won't run away from $7m) will you still try to pretend to be an impoverished hockey mom, or the millionaire Governor you really are? In 2012, when you run for President, will you tell Americans who are real, and who are not? Will you continue to attempt to insult the intelligence of American people with your Joe Sixpack references, or will you get real and get smart? And what about the racism? Will you have the balls to call Obama the N word, like you've always wanted to, or will you just make veiled statements about terrorists and emphasize his foreign sounding name?

I for one can't wait for her to get started on this book. All the meetings with her ghost writer will perhaps keep her off my TV.